Moonlight Sonata

Better Left Unknown

2005-03-24T04:50:37Z

What happens when Lupin and Snape discover the world of Fanfiction?

Hilarity ensues, along with much squickiness.Rated NC~17

rlupin: Remus stormed down the halls and barged into Severus' office with a fist full of papers. He waved them in front of his face and almost yelled. "Would you look at t his batch of tripe?"

ssnape: Severus looked up from his work and glared. "What now, you flaming drama queen? Did the house-elves serve you the wrong kibble at dinner?"

rlupin: "No I didn't get the wrong kibble for dinner. Have you seen these? They call them fan fics like we are something from a bloody novel to play around with. I mean Merlin's beard do they not see we have feelings and private lives?" His amber eyes glowed with fire.

ssnape: “What are you on about Lupin? What the bloody hell is a fan fics?" His eyes following the movement of the papers he waved about.

rlupin: Lupin stopped waving the massive pile of papers and put his feet frimly planted upon the floor beside Severus' desk. "A fan fic my friend is something Muggles do for fun. They take the characters from books they like and make up their own stories about them. Like this one.” He pulled out a few pages from his fist. "Here feast your ebony eyes on this one.

ssnape: Severus took the proffered papers and began to scan the page, his eyes narrowed as he read the words. Then suddenly they got wide and his face turned pale. "I've never...in my mouth...Malfoy sr?” He threw the paper down, "That should be burnt and you should be hung for even possessing such...such...garbage!"

rlupin: “Me! Hung? Well I am well hung but that is beside the point. I don't like this any more than you do. I mean Bloody hell they have me with everything from Sirius to... Well, just look at this. " He handed over another set of pages with a purple background and potions bottles on the side.

ssnape: Severus eyes the offending paper, taking it gingerly, as if the pages were coated with poison, or something else equally disgusting. "ME!" he threw the paper down. "This is...is...wrong...very very wrong." He glances at the top of the pile, "You and Potter? That is wrong, he's your surrogate godson you perverted reprobate."

rlupin: “Severus you act as if this crap came from my quill. I didn't write this junk. It came to me by one of the house elves. He was laughing his arse off at them and when I asked what was so funny he laughed and gave me these. Now I don't think they are so damned funny.” Remus had begun to pace back and forth once more in small circles like a caged animal.

ssnape: “I should say not. What sick mind thinks of this stuff? Are they only about sex?" he shuffles through the stack. "Oh dear Merlin, I may need to be obliviated. Potter and Weasley...oh the mental images, I feel the need to vomit. Oh wait a tic...here's one with Granger and Weasley...and I don't mean Ron." He hands it to Lupin, "Have you seen this one?" A single eyebrow rises.

rlupin: The pacing lycanthrope stops in his tracks and takes the pages. "Oh Merlin's beard, Severus do you think it is possible for women to really do that? I mean wouldn't they dislocate something?"

ssnape: Severus looked at him with open honesty in his eyes. "No, it's quite doable...I've seen it done before...they just..." He grabs the werewolf and then stops himself when he realizes he what he was about to do. He then waves a dismissing hand. He lifts another bit of paper. His eyes grow wide and a red blush creeps up his neck. He quickly hides the paper behind his back. "I...I'm going to burn this one." He makes a hasty dash toward the fireplace...

rlupin: Remus fell on top of the desk whooshing the pages off into the floor as Severus first grabbed him and then dropped him just as quickly. "Hey give a guy some warning when you are going to let him drop like a rock.” He then jumped up and raced to ward the fireplace grabbing at the pages. “NO you don't not till I get to see what it is you are so afraid I know.”

ssnape: He turns around, the pages ripping in his hand. "Hand that back, Lupin. I'd rather not have my throat ripped out by you tonight. Like you said, I didn't write these either." Though, the blush didn't diminish one iota. "It's just...just inconceivable. With a student...I mean...I'd get sacked, right?

rlupin: “Oh that one. Well, I would rather you have him than God forbid Lucius. Did you see that one? You are a hundred thousand times better than that one and ... Well...I don't know they might be right about just that one it seems to fit, and sacked? You? No way, the barmy old codger would do that.” Remus laughs softly and bends to gather the fallen pages from the floor

ssnape: He raises and eyebrow, "You would prefer me over Malfoy?" He then clears his throat and concentrates on another paper. "It's all irrelevant. I'm not bent like you." He lifts another. "Dear Merlin, these people have issues. They must need medication or a good half hour under Cruciatus. Look at this Filch and Hagrid? I may vomit."

rlupin: Remus pulled himself up from the floor and sat hard upon the desk. "Filch and Hagrid? OMG that is too sick even to write on paper much less put out like someone should see that. I would need to scourgify my eyes if I had looked at that." He flipped thru more of the giant stack of pages and once more went. " Oh bloody hell... Would you look at this .. Now Sevvie you know there is no way I am doing that with..... that one eyed bugger."

ssnape: “Did you see the name of this? Constant Furriness," he said, pulling the paper from his hand. "Bloody hell, these people are sick. I need a drink." He walks over to the cupboard and pulls out two bottles of Ogdens and hands one to the werewolf. He couldn't be bothered with a glass. He plucked another paper off the desk and pulled the cork with his teeth. "James and Voldemort? What utter tripe." He knocks back a huge amount of whiskey while pushing a page in front of Lupin’s nose. "Look at this and share my troubles. Master and Wolf my lily white arse."

rlupin: Remus took the proffered bottle and downed a goodly bit of the brew. He grabbed the pages from Severus' hand and looked at it with his eyes narrowing. "You know if they are going to write this trash about us the least they could do is figure out who is really on top for Merlin’s sake. " The Lycanthrope snatched another page and blanched white. “Look at this DarkLightening. Now we would all be run out of town on a Firebolt for this one." He downed more of the liquor and grabbed for another page.

ssnape: Severus blanched. "I do not bottom!" He shuffled through a few more, taking a sip of his whiskey,which he promptly choked on. "Like Merlin's left nut! Me and that Barmy Old Codger's daft goat fucking brother? I bloody well think not!" He grumbled over the page muttering something that sounded like 'Snapegoat my arse'. He took another drink, trying to wash the mental image away.

rlupin: Remus almost chocked on his bottle when Severus mentioned "Alberforth and himself. " He laughed and grabbed another page. "You think that is bad here is one. Look at this crap lone wolf . I can't even whack off in peace someone has to make a bloody story out of it. Now Imust admit it is rather a nice way to begin the day but cripes man." He pulled on the bottle and shredded the paper into tiny pieces.

ssnape: Severus snickered at the werewolf. "No peace for you..." he looked down and choked as he saw the ship called Lone Brewer. He quickly incendio'd that page and moved on. "Who the bloody hell is Grawp...oh Merlin is he that thing that Hagrid claims as his brother? Well he gets around a bit. Him and Filch, Grawp and Miss Granger..." He looked up at the wolf, "How are you with memory charms?"

rlupin: “Ok I am only going to say this one time... I'll do you if you do me." Remus grabbed his bottle and found it dry He shook it sadly and dropped it to the waste bin. "Ewww... Umbridge and…the house elf? Where do they come up with this lunacy? Severus is it illegal to render them helpless and tickle them to death with a feather?"

ssnape: Glancing up from an interesting read between Miss Lovegood and Miss Weasley he said, "What?...oh, um...giving to how this crowd writes, it's probably defined as acceptable kink." He look back and shuffled thru some more. "It seems our Miss Granger surely gets around. She's had everyone on both Slytherin and Gryffindor Quidditch teams, most of the male and female staff and ..." he narrowed his eyes and then looked up at Lupin. "Seems she fancies shagging you."

rlupin: “Give me that . I just can't go there. I would rather do Well just about any adult in the known universe. Except Umbridge or Filch or well scratch hat there are too many to list. And it isn't that she isn't a cute little thing she is just so bloody annoying." He then wiggled his eyebrows “Exceptable kink. I can live with that. Oo look at this one you liquid sex God. Now I am hurt really hurt all I get are the fur references. Gods I am human 99 percent of the time but NO turn into one wolf and do they call you a man no fuck the wolfie." He looked for his bottle and realized it was empty so he reached for Sevs and downed the rest of it pouting.

ssnape: “Liquid sex? At least I'm not like Black and called Sex on a Stick? What the hell is that?" He snickered, "True, you are referred to as more beast then man." He picked up another page. "Blastitall! My hair is not bloody greasy! Feel it...don't give me that look, just feel it! It's soft and shiny. I wash it and condition it...these people write as if I had no sense of personal hygiene. I work with disgusting ingredients, so that makes me disgusting?" He glared as Lupin finished his drink. He accio'd two more and ruffled thru some more pages. "Guess Black wasn't so loyal to you either. Sleeping with everyone from his cousins to his godson and everyone in between. Pretty active sex life for a man who spent 12 years in prison, I must say. Oh look, he even shagged a dementor. I guess he drew the line there at snogging."

rlupin: "Bloody Hell .Let me have that disgusting drivel. Shag a dememtor my fine arse, He never cheated either. He might have tasted a few flowers but who didn't at our age? And sex-on-a stick? I rather prefer more comfort in my snogging than that." He picked up the bottle and thought he had just consumed more firewhiskey then and one wizard ought to do on a week night but this was disturbing. He took another page and looked at it through his fingers. "Oi what now Percy/ Oliver and Marcus talk about the good the bad and the ugly.”

ssnape: Severus tuned out the wolf's babbling. He wasn't sure if he should be turned on or disgusted...or disgusted because he was turned on. "Bullistrode and Goyle, dear God, please just don't let them breed." He then spotted the topper to end all. "Holy shit, this one is...utterly wrong....Potter and Malfoy, Malfoy Sr., You, Me and Black. Incest much?"

rlupin: “Oh My God. You can't be serious you and me and Potter and Sirius maybe but Malfoy x2, eww. I shudder to think what these people do in their real time. I think Voldie may have a point in his Muggle baiting. They are sick, sick puppies. Severus I don't know how much more of this I can take without Crucioing everyone of them I can find." Remus pulled deeply on the bottle of firewhiskey deciding he was seeing everything in twos and maybe it looked better that way. "Seriously, you do sound like liquid sex you know". He reached out his slender finger to run thru Severus' hair. "You’re right it is soft."

ssnape: Severus' eyes fluttered closed in his drunken moment as Lupin touched his hair. "Mmmm, told you t'was soft." His eyes shot open. "Memory charm, now. Because I think I was just enjoying a bit of fiction with you and your deplorable Marauder friends and I don't want to remember it or you touching me." He stood up and held out his wand. "You obliviate me first."

rlupin: Remus was running his fingers through those ebony locks and enjoying the silky feeling when Severus jumped up and held out his wand. “Alright ya snarky bastard. Ya know I could almost get used to you." He pointed his wand at the head of his friend and said, “Obliveate.” He was careful to only get the upper memories of this night. “Now you do me." Remus then ‘Incendio’ed’ all of the pages upon the desk and waited for his friend to take the memories of this night from his tortured brain.

ssnape: Severus wasn't sure why he was modifying Lupin's memories, but he agreed and said "Obliviate." He narrowed his eyes as he spied the bottles. He made a mental check of his person to make sure nothing suspicious hurt. "Why are you here? Where we drinking again and you made me do something....disgusting?" He growled, "Get out, Lupin! Your nightly visits are tiring and I'd prefer that they ended now." He began to usher the man toward the door when he spotted a paper on the floor beneath his desk. Picking it up, he said, "Take your garbage with..." he stopped as his eyes scanned the words: ...Remus stretched and slipped off of the smooth desk stretching and looking around. With a laugh he picked up his wand and left a bouquet of flowers on Severus' night stand along with a note that said......: "Thanks for the memories. Love ~ RJL ~" He then turned and with the help of his wand placed Severus snugly in his bed and made his clothing all pile themselves into a heap on the floor... "LUPIN! What is the meaning of this?"

rlupin: The slender drunken Lycanthrope walked over to Severus and snatched the paper from his hand to read. “Well how in bloody hell should I know it's you're handwriting.” He leaned over and placed a soft kiss upon his lips. "Good Night Liquid Sex., I'm to bed. Join me if you want. But bring your own pillow." With that Remus turned and weaved his way out of the door singing softly ‘I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts....’

ssnape: Severus glared after the man, touching his lips. "Dirty great beast," he muttered and finished off his firewhiskey, ensuring that he would be too hung over to remember that disgusting kiss.

PRIVATE ~ Severus' Blasted Gift

2005-03-19T01:51:27Z

(OOC: This is late..I know...RL sucks sometimes...)

Present

SEVERUS SNAPE:
Severus stormed up to Lupin's office and knocked on the door. He did not wait for an invitation as he pushed it open and trudged over to the desk. "I have your Wolfsbane for the month ready." He hesitated and with a slight glare he thrust a small brackish vial into the Lycanthrope’s hand. "This is for your...birthday. It is Memoria Potion, enjoy." He turned on his heel and retreated into the shadows lest the werewolf thank him for his gift. Severus Snape did not take platitudes well.

REMUS LUPIN:
Remus smiled a slight smile as Severus exited the room. "Memoria Potion, I haven't had any of this in years." Remus smiled as he remembered the last time he had been lucky enough to have some. This potion was so special and he knew what it took Severus to brew it just for him. Memoria potion let the taker remember totally one twelve hour period of the drinkers choosing. What a gift. Remus stood and carrying the vial with him he went to his chamber and made ready. He took the cork out of the bottle and with shaking hand lifted it to his lips.

1977

SIRIUS BLACK:
"Moony...Moooooonnnnyyyyyy...psst, Moony wake up!" He crawled into Remus' bed, sticking his nose touching the young man's. "Come on, Prongs and Petey are already in the Great Hall eating lunch. We have so much to do before tonight...who naps in the afternoons anyway." His breath was brushing over Remus' face.

REMUS LUPIN:
Remus opened one amber eye and looked at Sirius. "I sleep in the afternoon you wanker. And it is almost colder than a witch’s tit in this room. Why not just climb under the covers and warm me up?" Remus chuckled at his friend softly.

SIRIUS BLACK:
Sirius licked his lips and smiled, "Because if Prongs catches us in bed together again I think we'll both be sleeping in the common room." He then straddled Remus and began to shake the bed, "Moony, get up! We have to eat and then go down to the dungeons and we still need to nick those potions ingredients. You're wasting our valuable time. It's Saturday..."

REMUS LUPIN:
"Alright, alright I'm coming. Hold your whiskers.” Remus sat up and grabbed Sirius around the shoulders flipping him over on the bed to straddle him and briefly kiss his cheek with a glancing kiss before hopping out of bed and reaching for his clothes. "Prongs can sure be a prig sometimes. He could have joined us but noooooo not Mr. Prongs. Okay, I think I am ready, let's go eat."

SIRIUS BLACK:
He lounged on the bed, watching Remus gather his things. "Master Lupin, keep sneaking me kisses like that and I'll begin to believe that maybe you’re sweet on me." He shot him a wink before rolling over and landing on his feet. He stretched and grabbed the cross bar on the poster bed, hanging from hit slightly, his shirt lifting. "Prongs is so hung up on Evans that he wouldn't know a good time if it sat on his face and did the hula." He pulled one hand down and examined his nails. "Myself on the other hand, look forward to a good hula dance on my face."

REMUS LUPIN:
Remus laughed and then gave Sirius a playfully false gasp. "Me? Sweet on you? What in the world would give you that idea? And you could return a kiss ya know; a fellow could begin to feel unwanted." He laughed really loud then and snorted. "I think if Evans said jump Prongs would say, ‘Yes Ma’am how high?’” He sneered slightly and then snorted. "Hula on your face, huh? Well now I know what to get you for your birthday."

SIRIUS BLACK:
He walked over to Remus, licking his lips and running a steady hand thru this long shaggy hair and got within inches of his friend. "Return a kiss you say?" His breath was even but intense as he moved painfully slow toward Remus' lips.

JAMES POTTER:
"Are we interrupting something?" he asked with a snort. James had waited for the other half of the Marauders, but when they hadn't appeared he gave Lily a pathetic grin and quickly stuffed some rolls into his pockets and told Peter to follow him. The whole walk back he grumbled and complained about his friends and their lack of respect for time frames and windows of opportunity. Then to find them in this 'almost kissing' position just about iced his cake. Throwing himself on his bed and tossing rolls he growled, "I can't get Evans to notice me and you two aren't doing a thing to help the situation, ya know."

SIRIUS BLACK:
Sirius pulled back when James spoke. He winked at Remus and then snatched the roll out of the air and plopped down on the foot of James' bed. "Oh you know we care Prongs. But you honestly can't blame us for your lack of animal magnetism. I mean, who's attracted to a stag? Wolves, yes...dogs...definitely. Rats...well, sorry Petey, no dice there either..." He took a bite of the roll and leaned on his elbow. "You guys are just screwed. And I don't mean in a good way."

REMUS LUPIN:
Remus pulled back from the almost kiss and hiding the frustration he felt right at that moment he snarled. "You two would screw up a wet dream.” He laughed to hide his true feelings. Then he plopped himself on the foot of the bed with his long legs swinging over the end. “James the lady has done everything but take you by your pecker and lead you to it. Do you need an interpretative dance to know she is interested? I mean sure wolves and dogs are sexier but you have got the girl just act on it. Wormy, sorry guy I gotta agree with Pads on that one rats and definitely a no go on the woman scale. All rats do is make them run for a big dog or a wolf." He threw up his slender hand. "What? No roll for me?"

PETER PETTIGREW:
Peter stayed out of the banter as much as he could .He liked the three larger and faster guys and was just happy they kept him around. Though, sometimes he wanted to scream at them to notice he was just as good as they were.

JAMES POTTER:
Tossing Remus a roll he snorted, "Evans could lead me anywhere by my pecker. I would follow her into Mt. Doom if she was the one tugging me." He absently ruffled his own hair, tossing his roll into the air and grabbing it like a snitch. "So, I have to ask, did Wormtail and I interrupt an almost or was that the after kiss from a dirty shag?"

SIRIUS BLACK:
"Dirty shag? I was gone for fifteen minutes. Give a bloke some credit!" He tore another bite off his roll and absently added, "It was a dirty handjob, right Moony?"

JAMES POTTER:
James blanched, "If I didn't know better I'd think you were serious. Well, you are but you know what I mean." He tossed his roll at Sirius' head. "So are we going to do this thing or not? I thought you were the one who wanted revenge on Snape."

SIRIUS BLACK:
At that Sirius growled, "Yeah, I want revenge. That little slimy rat bastard...sorry Petey...he thinks he can get away with turning my bodily fluids blue...well...I'll show him." He then smirked at James, "Oh, and have you stopped pissing blue yet?"

JAMES POTTER:
"Yes," he ground out. Being as how Sirius felt compelled to use him as a guinea pig to see what potions Snape had used, he too wanted revenge. "So what is your plan?"

PETER PETTIGREW
"Merlin guys, just because I am small and I am sometimes a bit of a well, geez do you have to sit on me all the time?" He looked at the others with a mock pout that was not at all endearing.

REMUS LUPIN:
“Oh yeah, thanks for reminding me Pads, I need to wipe off my hands before I tackle James for another one of those rolls I see peeking out of his pocket." He walked over and wiped his hands on Peter's robes. "Now that is better. Plan... hum what did I do with that plan. I thought you had it, Oh Great Master Planner." He winked at Sirius, "I will never tell anyone what you can do in fifteen minutes."

SIRIUS BLACK:
Leaning back on James' bed to look at Remus, he smiled. "Yeah, thanks Moony. You give great hand." He stretched again, this time his head and shoulders hanging off the bed. "Well, plan...um...I was thinking something along the lines of getting those potions ingredients from the lab and sabotaging the lesson for tomorrow so that all the Slytherin sixth years end up with red and gold hair. OR, we could charm all the Slytherin boys so that all their pants turn to knickers, black lacy knickers." He smirked, eyeing Remus and then rolled so he was leaning on James' leg. "Oh what about that idea you had...you know the one with the things..."

JAMES POTTER:
James snorted, "Your eloquence is frightening, but I know what you mean. I was toying with the idea of trying out some controlled weather spells. Namely, a tornado in the Slytherin Common room. What say you all?"

REMUS LUPIN:
"I say we do it all why not make the bastards have red and gold hair and black lace knickers. It would serve the greasy git right if his house were all the laughing stocks we know them to be anyway. And you are very welcome Sirius." Moony grinned his famous grin and leaned back upon the bed letting his long legs swing freely over the end.

PETER PETTIGREW
“I could get in the door and grab the ingredients if you want. Sometimes being small is good." He smiled at the other three.

SIRIUS BLACK:
"I knew I liked you for a reason, Petey. You're a thinking man." He looked up at James, "So yeah, Petey can get the ingredients. The man with the hands of silk can brew the potions, I can transform some cotton into black lace and you can work your God-like powers over Mother Nature." He rolled so he was facing the ceiling again. "That is if Evans gives you permission to use your wand. You know I don't mean the one in your pocket."

JAMES POTTER:
"Sounds brill, but who's going to kiss my arse to convince me to let you fools use my invisibility cloak? Who is going to distract Filch and most importantly, when do we leave?"

REMUS LUPIN:
"Well let's go. Petey, Oh Short One, kiss Mr. Potters arse so we can go. You are the shortest so it is not that big a leap for you. I might be tempted to bite his arse rather than kiss it and then he would like it and we would have to stay here all night. And what a tragedy that would be. Poor Lily." He laughed and pulled Sirius off the bed along with James.

PETER PETTIGREW
"I don't know why you think I would like to kiss his royal arse. Nope if you want that done you are going to have to do it yourself. I am willing to get the ingredients but not the rest." He looked at the trio and quivered slightly. They always did get him into trouble but he hated to be left behind.

SIRIUS BLACK:
"Come on Petey," he said, pulling an arm around his shoulder. "You know we wouldn't make you kiss Prong's arse. Who knows where it's been?" He ducked around Remus wrapping his arms around his slender waist as James took a swing at him. "You missed me, ya girl! No wonder Evans doesn't want you; she's got bigger balls..." He then ran down the stairs and thru the common room before James could catch him. He waited outside the portrait, looking suave and nonchalant.

JAMES POTTER:
James tried to punch at Sirius and instead, grabbed his invisibility cloak and tore after him. "If I catch you Padfoot I'll ream you a new one." He pushed past a third year and found Sirius leaning against the wall, looking like something out of a Muggle cigarette advert. He snorted at the site and collapsed against the wall, laughing.

REMUS LUPIN:
"Hey, no fair putting me in the middle of this" He drew in his breath sharply those arms felt really good around his waist. ~Snap out of it you fool or you will loose all your friends. ~ He tore out after the other two and ran smack dab into James who was doubled over laughing, tumbling them to the floor and knocking over the third year who like a fool had turned to follow them.

PETER PETTIGREW:
He raced after the others as fast as his short legs could carry him. He stopped just short of plowing into the other two Marauders on the floor. "Come on you guys stop horsing around let's go."

SIRIUS BLACK:
"James, you complete tit, I have no idea what you're laughing about." He pretended to puff on an imaginary cigarette. "But, Petey is right, c'mon...let's go before Filch sees us. I swear that man smells trouble from across the effing school." He lifted the cloak from James and threw it around his shoulders. "Petey, you and James up front, short bastards. Moony, you are behind me." He felt Remus getting close and whispered, "You know I bottom for you only." And he winked.

JAMES POTTER:
After regaining his composure he settled close to Sirius and heard what he whispered. "Oh the mental images there, gah! Is this a Padfoot sandwich? If so, can I return mine, the meats a bit used."

SIRIUS BLACK:
Sirius smacked James in the back of the head. "Used? Well fine, see if I show you the finer things I can do with my tongue. I'll save all my talents for someone who appreciates them...like Moony."

REMUS LUPIN:
Remus slid in behind Sirius and stood very close to fit under the cloak it was going to be tight fit for four of them even standing almost in each others skin. When he heard Sirius' words his breath caught in his throat, and before he had a chance to speak James rushed into it. Thank Merlin, he needed all his concentration to keep himself under control though he feared if it was too long a walk to the Potions lab he would definitely be giving his thoughts away. "Prongs you silly git we don't have time for this.” He whispered to Sirius. “Anytime loves, anytime."

PETER PETTIGREW:
Thinking this was a really good time to keep his mouth shut he slid in before James and was ready to lead off.

SIRIUS BLACK:
As they trudged thru the castle Sirius whispered, "Is that your wand Moony, or are you just happy to bugger me?"

JAMES POTTER:
"Will you shut it, Pads! We're trying to be discreet."

SIRIUS BLACK:
Sirius pouted, "Fine, but I think Moony appreciates my humour, right Moony?" He reached behind him to pat his arm but missed by a long shot and pats his arse. "See you've been working out Moony, old man."

JAMES POTTER:
James growled again, "Will you just shut it!" He was about to turn around and tell him they would do this another day if he couldn't keep his libido check when he realized they were in the dungeons. "Okay, Petey, you know which ingredients to get? I'm going to leave the cloak with these two canines and I'm going off to the Slytherin common room. We’ll meet up in the empty class by the tapestry of Grindel the Gross." He shot a glare at Sirius..."Behave." He took off.

REMUS LUPIN:
Remus stifled a laugh as Sirius spoke to him. When his strong hand landed firmly upon his backside the slender lycanthrope almost gasped but managed to hold onto his silence. As James and Petey left you could hear "Be have my arse." Remus wrapped his arms around Sirius and whispered into his ears. "That’s not my wand and I am happy to see you."

SIRIUS BLACK:
Watching James disappear down the hall, Sirius turned to face Remus. He moved up against his body, his silver eyes heavily lidded. "Is that so, Mr. Lupin?" He put both his hands on Remus' chest and pushed him into an alcove. "Do I make you happy, Moony?" he asked, licking his lips, his eyes were trained on the lycanthropes amber orbs.

REMUS LUPIN:
"What makes you ask that? You know you make me happy. How could you not? The question is could you be happy with me?" He felt the warmth of Sirius' body against his always cool one and wrapped his arms around him bringing the two of them ever closer together, eyes locked and their faces, oh so close together.

SIRIUS BLACK:
He felt Remus' arms around him and he lowered his gaze. "James thinks I'm leading you into something you really don't want," he said in hushed tones. "S'not true. I just don't know what I'm doing. I know you make me smile." He was almost blushing; he'd never admitted anything like this, not even to Prongs.

REMUS LUPIN:
"You are not leading me anywhere I don't wish to go. Don't you see how happy you make me? Merlin's beard I am only warm when I am with you and you have these incredible eyes. I could drown in them and be happy doing it. Sirius, I don't know what I am doing either all I know for sure is I need you.” Remus blushed and buried his head against Sirius' neck.

SIRIUS BLACK:
Grabbing his hand he began to pull Remus down the hall, not caring if the invisibility cloak covered them completely. He needed to do this and he needed to do it now. Running like a madman, feeling the cool hand in his, he finally stopped outside one of the many empty rooms he and James had discovered in their travels. He charmed open the door and pulled them both inside, sealing it. He then pulled the cloak off them and crushed himself up against the taller young man. Before he could chicken out he claimed Remus' lips in an awkward kiss. He'd only ever kissed girls before; they were soft and tasted as such. Remus was all hard plains and pointy angles and Sirius knew he loved it more then anything in the world. He realized his hand was still grasping Moony's tightly.

REMUS LUPIN:
He felt the blood rush to his head as Sirius pulled him down the hall and into an empty classroom. His hand still enclosed in Sirius' warm one. When he felt himself pulled into an open door and then felt Sirius' lips on his the whole world rocked. He greedily returned the kiss and knew he was home. He gave no thought to James or Peter or anyone else just those eyes and those lips and Oh My God, the shear ecstasy of it all.

SIRIUS BLACK:
He ran his tongue along Remus' bottom lip, a soft growl growing in the back of his throat. He spoke against those cool lips, "Moony, this is insane...but I can't stop." He lifted one hand to trace one of the scars on Remus' face, smiling sheepishly. "Does this mean I fancy blokes? Because I can honestly say I only fancy you." He reclaimed those lips and gently pried them apart with his tongue and his knees almost gave out as he met Remus's soft tongue.

REMUS LUPIN:
Remus let his lips open slightly and then he felt the softness of that warm tongue dance over his. He sucked upon it gently and felt his legs begin to grow weaker. He pulled the two of them still locked in that kiss to the floor. "I don't know," he whispered when the kiss broke. "All I know is I want you and I never want this feeling to go away and I don't fancy blokes either as a rule, but Gods this feels so right.” He claimed those lips again and sighed with the feeling.

SIRIUS BLACK:
As they tumbled to the floor, he rolled, pulling Moony on top of him. "Does this mean I get to sleep in your bed? Mine is so lonely, all the way on the other side of the dorm, by Petey." He smiled against those lips he'd craved for so long. "Cus you know you love it when I call to you in the middle of the night. Right, Moooonnnnyyyyy..." He licked his lips and brushed Remus' hair from his eyes, his other hand tracing lazy circles and figure eights up his back.

REMUS LUPIN:
Remus laughed softly. “What took you so long? Of course you can sleep in my bed. I don't know what we are going to tell James, you know how jealous he can be, but hey, I wouldn't want to be stuck sleeping next to Petey either. He snores. And sounds like a wheezing rat. Merlin, that feels good Pads." He let his amber orbs hold those silver ones and his hands began to trace lazy circles over Sirius body.

SIRIUS BLACK:
"James can bugger off dreaming of Evans. The fool! He has no idea how much she really likes him but he acts like wank-wit." He smiled as he buried his face in Remus' neck. He found the edge of his jumper and slid his warm hands inside, touching the soft skin and noting the way the bumps of his spine stuck out. "You need to eat more, Moony."

REMUS LUPIN:
"Alright, I will eat more. Come here and let me taste you. And you are right James is a wanker. That girl is head over heels for him and yet he can’t see it for his own silliness." He pressed his lips to Sirius' once more and let his hands work their way under Sirius' jumper. "We really should give up this afternoon of Slytherin pay back, who really cares anyway? We go back to our room before anyone finds us. I think our bed would be more comfortable than this floor. "

SIRIUS BLACK:
Sirius ran his tongue over Remus' teeth and smiled devilishly. "A bed? I believe revenge on one Severus 'Slimeball' Snape can wait another day. You know what they say about revenge and cold dishes." He rolled them so he was the dominant and licked a slow languid path over Remus' neck. Then pulling away, he pocketed the invisibility cloak, lest he leave it behind and give James even more of a reason to give him a black eye. He unlocked the door and peered out. "I should have grabbed that ruddy map from Prongs. Ah well," he pulled them both out and with a quick smouldering look toward Remus, he tore off toward Gryffindor tower. When they reached their dorm, he was out of breath and he collapsed onto Moony's bed. "Take me now while I'm defenceless Moony, I willingly submit." He panted and winked.

REMUS LUPIN:
Remus almost flew down the hall on feet so light they almost never touched the floor completely. Revenge was sweet but this was sweeter. He landed on the bed next to Sirius and pulled him into a deep lip lock that left him breathless. “Take you while you are defenceless? When are you ever defenceless, my friend? I never noticed that about you. Let's just do what comes to us. No planning." He kissed him once more and then took his slender hands and grabbing his jumper threw it off over his head to land in a heap on the floor beside the bed.

SIRIUS BLACK:
Removing both their jumpers, Sirius immediately dove into his arms, thrilling at the touch of skin on skin. "Merlin, Moony, this is just..." words escaped him. He found himself touching ever exposed surface on that hard chest. For a powerful werewolf and a rather strong human, Remus was deceptively thin and did not possess a lot of muscles. Sirius thought he was just beautiful. He ran his hand thru Moony's soft brown hair and sucked on his earlobe. "Too long, Remus...I waited too long...I'm sorry," he whispered in a thick hoarse voice.

REMUS LUPIN:
Those eyes and the love held there. That was captivating and the touch of his skin against that of the slender lycanthrope was electric. "Merlin, yes we both were so stupid to deny this. You have nothing to be sorry for I am the one who should be sorry. I am so obtuse sometimes." He ran his slender fingers slowly over his back and up to rest gently in his hair, wrapping his long legs around those of his companion.

SIRIUS BLACK:
He ground his body against Remus', finding purchase with their locked legs. "Oh, Gods..." he hissed at the sensations he was feeling. He knew he was lost, he knew that he'd never be able to turn back. This was home, this was where he belonged. He'd known a long time ago that his family disliked him; this was only one more reason for them to disown him. He cared not. He had James and he had Remus and Remus was all he really ever needed. His insecurities got the better of him and he whispered against his lips, "Don't ever leave me."

REMUS LUPIN:
"How could I leave my own soul? You are the best of me. I am only truly alive and warm when I am with you. Don't you know that I will never leave you? You are the very heart of me. I hope that you never leave me. What would I do without you?" Remus knew that there would never be a love for him like this one forged in the fires of youth and adversity. He pulled Sirius as close as he possibly could and held him tenderly. " I... well, you know."

SIRIUS BLACK:
He gave him a lopsided smile. "You're my mate, I'll never leave you." He claimed his lips in a slow, lingering kiss. It was not erotic, nor was it chaste. It promised of warm nights and shared futures; it spoke of two souls who would forever be entwined. He smiled again and whispered, "Yeah, Moony...I know." He was mapping out the topography in Remus' eyes.

REMUS LUPIN:
He let his eyes speak to Sirius and his body followed suit. They were mates and soul mates and this was home. He returned the kiss and let his lips speak the rest of his thoughts.

JAMES POTTER:
After setting off the tornado in the common room and watching the Slytherin scatter, James made his way to the abandoned room. When only Peter showed, he scanned the map and curse profusely under his breath. "Come on Peter, it's time to blacken Black's eye." He stormed thru the school making his way to their dormitory. He slammed open the door, "Merlin's left nut! You've turned Moony queer. Black you effing poof, get off him." He was not homophobic, he was only afraid that he'd lose both his friends if they had a falling out. He grabbed Sirius by the hair, pulling him off the bed he watched in horror as Remus fell off the other side and smacked his head.

Present

REMUS LUPIN: Remus was shouting, "NO!" at the top of his lungs when he hit the floor and everything went black. He woke the next morning on the floor and slowly stood with a glower. "Severus, damn you."

Happy birthday.

2005-03-11T04:40:35Z

Remus sat in his chair beside the fire with his bottle in his hand not even taking the time or comfort of a glass.It was late and his birthday almost over. His soft voice filled his chamber as he spoke to nothing in particular but his ghost.

"Today is my birthday and I miss you so badly I can barely breathe. I don't know why exactly this day should effect me more than any other. Maybe it is because today was so very quiet. No one remembered. I might have thought something of it had I not basically closed everyone out of my life. And yet, like an unwanted child I had hope that some of the order might have remembered.

You always remembered me and the things you did were funny and amazing and took my breath more than once. Remember in our seventh year when you got all those fireworks and since the weather turned bad over my birthday you decided to set them off anyway and the common room reeked of smoke for weeks? It was glorious. I reveled in your light and your warm laughter. I also seem to remember an exploding birthday cake someone thought would be funny . And someone whose birthday it was getting a face full of chocolate cream and raspberries.

Merlin, I miss you. More on days like this than most . Though seldom a day goes by when I am not drawn into thoughts of you. Every corner of this building and grounds has our memories stamped indeliably into it.Remember when we took off and found that huge beetle nut tree in the forbidden forest and we sat in it for a whole day just tossing them on unsuspecting centaurs? You were amazing and James was so funny making that loin cloth out of leaves to tease Lily.I wonder if he ever got up the nerve to show it to her?

I would like cake. I don't really need the candles and the whole birthday thing but cake would have been nice. And maybe a hail fellow well met type of thing.I suppose you are really laughing at me now. I would give almost anything to hear your laughter once more.I miss laughing. I miss so many things we used to do together. I miss our birthday suprizes one to the other. I miss sitting and talking and just being together.

I miss love and I miss your eyes. If I close my eyes and wish really hard can I feel you and see you? I don't have a candle to wish on but I do wish for you more than anything.

Today is my birthday and I miss you more than my weak words can tell."

Remus emptied the bottle in his hand and closed his eyes dreaming of times long gone and birthdays past.Singing softly under his breath." Happy Birthday to me. ......"

Silver Eyes

2005-03-08T04:28:22Z

Title:Silver Eyes
Arthur:Ladigrifon
Pairing: Remus/Draco
Warning:Male/Male PG-13
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters I just borrowed them for a while. They are owned By J.K.Rowling.

I hope you enjoy the tale.

Journal of Remus John Lupin found among the things put away after his death.

The pale witch sat with the many boxes of things surrounding her that must be gone through. Her long time friend had died and having no other family she had offered to take charge and clean the house and organize the things for the heir. Remus had left in his will that upon his death everything he owned was to go to Draco Malfoy. That was in itself quite a shock to the wizards who knew him well, or so they thought.

In one of the stacks of things in the bottom of the huge carved desk she found a rather well worn journal. Feeling rather like an intruder she only meant to glance at the book and yet found herself drawn into it's tale as one drawn into a story so fantastic it defies the putting away of the volume.
In the beginning she tried to just skim the journal reading random passages here and there. Realizing as she went how very little she had known about this wonderfully, caring man.

September.

Today I noticed his eyes. Did you know they are just like yours? I know he has not your soul. And yet to be honest I never gave him the chance to know me. What if I look closer and find he has your smile and your hands? I would truly be damned to a living hell if I found that was the case. Much better I keep my distance and kep him at arms length. For I swear to gaze into those eyes that are so much yours is pure torture. Merlin I miss you.

October:
The autumn wind is bringing the smells of smoke and burning leaves. I remember when we went on that long trek into the forbidden forest with Prongs and Wormtail . Pads do you remember the nights we spent running through the trees and laughing like loons? I am afraid of loosing the laughter. More than anything I am afraid of loosing that.

December:
Christmas eve and I miss you more than words could ever tell. I remember when we all crawled into bed together and drank our forbidden firewhiskey and sang at the top of our lungs keeping everyone awake while James gathered snow from the open window to fling at any who managed to knock upon our door. You were so warm next to me. I am never warm now. That night was the best night I can remember. Falling alseep in your arms after everyone had gone to their own lonely beds and pretending we were so much drunker than we were when they found us still together in the morning. It was wonderful. We were so happy then. Those days during our schooling. Even with my monthly curse you were always with me making sure I didn't do too much damage to myself or others.

February:
The snow is falling deeper and ever deeper. I have been standing for days on the out side of Azkaban. They have taken you away. They say you killed James and Lily. I know better. I feel it deep in my bones. There is no way you, of all of us, betrayed them. The demon moon is going to be at the zenith tonight and I have no desire to be anywhere but here. I have tried my best to find a way to get to you and my best stinks.
He could hear me howling in the despair of the transformation.I know he could. The sounds even bother me and it is my own lips that can not hold the sheer pain and panic that happens during this time. I must have been something awful to see becuase my hands are broken and bloody and I am sore beyond belief. I have dirt all over me and seem to remember flashes of trying to claw my way through the stone walls of your prision.
I can't stay here any longer. The pain is too great and my mind is too weakened to remain. I am going to go to Grimauld and see if I can find the solution there. or , at least , something to bring your memory back to me clearly.

March:
I saw him today. I had to pretend I didn't notice him . He has your eyes. Did you realize that your eyes are the same color as the full moon that haunts my very soul? Maybe that is part of my pennance. To be ever drawn to the very thing that is my curse. Dumbledore, that barmy old codger , has asked me to meet with him and see if I can find out what side he is really on. My God, he has no clue that this might very well be my own undoing. There is no way out for me. I can't explain why I can't do this simple thing and so I undertake it with my heart and soul locked as tightly as I can possibly inside myself.

April:
I met with him yesterday and I am truly damned. He has your eyes you know. Those silver orbs that pierce to my very soul. He has your smile. I never wanted to know that. Now I do and I can't put the image from my mind. He has your hands and I am doomed. There is so much of you in him. I never wanted to know that. I never wanted to begin to care. Not again . He has your eyes and I am lost forever to a living shadow of you. I can't let myself care for him. I know how you will laugh. I can almost hear your laughter ringing in my ears.

May:
Spring is here and the scent of the plants on the breeze is intoxicating. . I am meeting him tonight in the garden beside my home. The house itself is nothing special but it is my own and comfortable. We are friends now and I look forward to his coming with more happiness than I ever thought I would have again. He has your eyes you know . My heart quickens at the sound of his subtle rapping upon the door and I rush to answer it. He is smiling at me and the smile is yours. It used to be torture to look at him and now it is my salvation. He holds the laughter.
I opened the door and joined him on the porch. He smiled and told me in his silken voice that he would very much like to walk in my garden. He seems to like the spices and the small flowers best. I am delighted that anything I have pleases him.
Merlin, He touched my hand. We were walking and talking of nothing really and he took my hand. My breath caught in my throat and the world seemed to stand still for one glorious moment. He has your hands. I never realized how I have missed the feeling of your hand in mine.
This day is an almost perfect day.

June:
He is coming tonight. The solstice has just passed and I have been away from him for too long.. But it is way to dangerous for him to be around me during the time of transformation. He is not as prepared to deal with that as you were. I could be with you anytime and not have fear I would do you harm. I feel giddy as I prepare for his coming.. I have made the dishes I know he likes and the garden is in full bloom.

I open the door and gaze into those silver orbs. He has your eyes you know.He isn't smiling and I am suddenly cold. I ask him if he would like to come inside or walk in the gardens and talk. He gave me a half smile and said he would very much like to go into the garden. I am afraid of this mood .I have never seen him so withdrawn and so pensive. I open the door to the subtle knock I know to be his and gaze into those eyes. Silver orbs that seem to find my very soul. He doesn't smile tonight and I wonder what is wrong. I delight in his smile for it is yours.
As we walked in the garden he took my hand once more and held it as if he were going on a long journey and this was goodbye. I am so afraid. We sat together upon the cool stone bench and looked at the garden in the twilight. I was afraid to speak and almost afraid to breathe for fear of shattering him. The silence was so thick you could have sliced it.

Then the unthinkable happened. He turned those silver eyes to me and placed his free hand upon my cheek. My world reeled with his soft touch. Drawn by those eyes and his touch I found myself leaning closer and closer to claim his lips in a soft gentle kiss. The feeling was electric and the current that passed between us was like nothing I had felt in so many years.

I pulled away slightly to look into his eyes and see if I had just shocked him beyond all believeing when he wrapped his arms around me and brought his lips to mine for a deep soul stirring kiss that rocked my world and left me breathless. My eyes closed and I could only think of his arms around me and those lips upon mine soft and demanding as they parted to let his tongue dance softly over my lips and at their parting enter my own mouth to be sucked gently into that dance of wanting. .

I have no idea how long we stayed in the garden on that bench just holding each other and kissing.. Looking back it seems like no time at all but then it seemed like a blissful eternity.

August:
Summer is almost gone but he is like spring. Rarely a day goes by when he is not with me. I look forward to his coming as a child to Christmas morning and yet we have not come to completely belong one to the other. I don't know what stops me. He has your eyes and your smile and your hands. But most of all he has your laugh. I suppose the thing that stops me from that final step is the feeling of betrayl I feel when ever I kiss him or hold him. He has parts of you but he is not you. Sometimes I hate being so tied to your memory I can't breath. Why can't I forget? Why can't I let go? I hold to your memory as if it were my armour and my shrine. He has your eyes you know.
I am going to do it. There is no turning back. It isn't fair to him to make him stand in the shadow of a ghost. I need him. I need his warmth and his laughter and his eyes.

November :
Thanksgiving. Truly a time to be thankful. He is coming for dinner and I have prepared everything just the way he likes it. Our new found closeness is the most wonderful amazing thing. I never thought I would love again or be able to love . Thoughts of you are still very real but my reality has a face and real hands now. He has your eyes. Did I mention that?
He entered the house no longer having the need to knock but with his own key. His eyes and his mouth are smiling. How could I have ever kept him from me for so long? That platinum hair that shines so in the light and the dancing silver eyes and those hands so smooth and yet so caring and so strong.
He comes to me across the room and we are one lips hungrily seeking sustanance in the other. His soft hands find their way under my silk shirt and begin to caress my body scarred and worn with years of abuse. He doesn't seem to care. He caressed me tenderly and my body finding a voice of its own returned his caresses with their own. His body so slender and trim and fit. The skin silken and perfect under my exploring hands. His body is fast becomming my shrine and the alter where I place my life and my happiness. He holds the laughter . His eyes hold the joy.
Dinner for the time forgotten as we make our way up the stairs and into the bedroom to shortly find ourselves totally wrapped in each other , clothing thrown akimbo and askew over the floor as we hurridly shed them on our entry into the blessed chamber.
This is the true alter and I offer myself to him in sacrifice to our passions. He in return offered himself to me. Both our bodies and minds of one accord. Mine to please him and find forgivness in his kiss and absolution in his body.

January:
The snow is falling and I shall never be warm again. My soul is as cold as the very snow that covers the sleeping ground. We had not enough time. Less than a thousand days when he came to me with the news that shattered both our worlds.
He entered the room and there was the most haunted look I have ever seen in anyone's eyes. Even yours when you were just out of Azkaban. My breath froze in my chest and my heart clenched. Something was terriably wrong.
He came to me and we sat upon the sofa just holding each other for the longest time before he could draw breath to speak to me in that soft silver tone he used always to me.
He told me he had been called. That his father had summoned him and he was to take the mark on the following day. He had no choice. Take the mark and join his family or die. The Malfoy's never joke about the Dark Lord or their place in his orginization. The tears that fell from his eyes, your eyes , wrenched my heart and I felt as if that very organ was being torn from my body to hang somewhere for the birds to nibble upon. I knew hatred then. Worse than any I have ever known. I truly hate Lucius Malfoy and Voldemort worse than I ever did before. Couldn't they see that this man was special. He had avoided the marking as long as possible and now there was no choice.
We both knew this night would be our last. Our final good bye. It would be much to dangerous for us to ever be seen together again. Death for him and slow torture for me or both of us if, the Dark Lord were to find out our true feelings for each other.
We spent the night wrapped closely in each others arms trying to commit to memory every detail of each others face and bodies and scents.

July:
It is summer and I sit alone in the garden and think of you. The air is full of the scent of your favorite plants. I can almost taste you if I close my eyes and remember. I no longer have the will to do anything but wait. I have not the heart to fight or the will to go. I sometimes catch glimpses of you along a busy street or alone sitting on the park bench. Do you ever think of me? I am so lonely I can almost slice the silence that envelops me and yet, I use it like armour to keep everyone else away. I don't want anyone to make the memories fade. He has your eyes you know and your smile and your hands. But no one has the laughter. It has gone.

The pale red haired witch placed the book inside an envelope and wrote upon the outside in her neatest script.

For:Draco Malfoy
Private.
She felt he alone had the right to read it all. She felt guilty for even reading the few passages she had and now that she knew the true depths of the love this friend had held for Draco she vowed to be a bit kinder to him. If he held even half the love for Remus she knew he would need a friend. Thinking back she thought surely he must have held the same love. It was the talk of the wizarding world how Draco would be the last of the Malfoy line since he refused to marry and never even dated. Now , she understood. He wasn't the cold hearted bastard everyone thought. He had loved not only deeply but too well.

Soul's Midnight

2005-03-06T17:44:13Z

It is three a.m. , Soul's Midnight, it is a documented fact that more people,including wizards, die between three and four in the morning. Therefore it is called soul's midnight. I am up having waked once more after the dream.

You know the one. Where you are standing almost within the reach of my outstreatched hands and I can almost grasp you when you are gone in a flash of harsh green light. And I scream. It is the scream that wakes me . I am glad for the soundproofing of my chambers.

Now I sit quill grasped tightly in my hand and try to purge my mind with the writing. I will then fade the writing to black so none but you may read it. It is not that I am ashamed of you or how I feel about you. But this is private and you of all people know how very private I like to lead my life. I think sometimes how wonderful it would be to join you in that eternal night. But , I am a coward. I remember having uncorked the vial and pressing the vial to my lips only to see your eyes reflected in the window.I can almost taste you and smell your soft scent you are so close to me. I close my eyes in the extacy of the moment only to find you gone again with the whispered thought that I promised to watch over Harry.

It is those eyes your silver eyes that haunt me. Draco has those eyes. He doesn't have your soul though.To be honest I never gave him the chance to get close to me. He has your eyes. What if I look closer and find he has your smile and your hands? I would truly me damned to hell if that were the case. He has your eyes. It is almost torture to look at him.

I have thought os finding some temporary solice with someone else but who?I can only see your eyes and the sad look on your face should I even think of sharing my life with anyone but you. Did you realize that your eyes are the color of the full moon? Maybe that is my pennance. To be ever cursed with my best memories and my worst triggered and married together for the rest of my haunted life.

Remus wiped his eyes and placed his quill upon the desk.He stood and headed to his lonely bed to try once more to sleep. The dream would come again but not this night. This night he would sleep.

Private thoughts

2005-02-28T01:50:02Z

Remus sat behind his desk and with his quill firmly enclosed in a slender hand began to write.

February,

It seems as if everyone is demanding a piece of me these days and I don't know how many pieces there are left for me to give.

Nymphadora wants to meet me for drinks and I have little to say to her right now. I know we are both members of the order and I should have more to do with her. We are not of an age or mind in anything but the knowledge that Voldemort must somehow be destroyed. I shall, of course , go to her and see what it is she needs.

Young Harry has asked to speak with me and I need to see him at once he has told me through his message it is important. I will go to him first. It is my promise to you that I watch over him.

Then to Dumbledore who has also requested my presence. He says he has cookies. I think by now the barmy old codger would remember I don't care for sweets. Not like some others I could name. I suppose I should go to him directly from young Harry.

Alright I think I have a plan. Harry, Dumbledore, Tonks, Severus. That would seem to maybe be my best bet. And leveing Severus until last I know at least the drink will be strong and the conversation important and memorable.

Strange to think how we have come to an understanding after all these years.I think it is either our age or the fact that we were both here when the worst happened. There is something that binds us.I sometimes wonder why some of the others don't see what a really thoughtful man he can be.

Ok, Ok, I can hear you laughing at my pathetic attempt to befriend the snarky bastard.I just want to be close to anyone who will let me remember. The ones who remember our laughter are getting to be very few in number and I need to be able to hold them close. I am afraid you know. Afraid of loosing the laughter.

The pale lycanthrope sets aside his quill and blots the page before closing the book. He then stands and wipes his eyes before walking out of the door.

Lesson ~Come in and sit down~

2005-02-22T04:29:34Z

Remus sat behind his desk working on a stack of parchment as his class settled in their seats. When everyone was in place he stood and walked to the front of his desk and leaned his long frame against it crossing his feet. He began to speak to them in a moderate tone that was easy on the ears.

"I must say I was hoping for better reactions to your last lesson but, that tells me where we need to focus for a few lessons. You all did well with the boggart. But that alone will not stand you in our world.You must be prepared to handle many different types of dark items. For this assignment I would like you to imagine one of these scenes and tell me what you would do.

The first is this: You are walking down a side street and find yourself face to face with a vampire what do you do?

The second is this: You find yourself asleep and all of a sudden you feel the heavy creeping of a Lethifold. What so you do?

And last:You find yourself lost and offering to help you is a wizard that bears a red mark on his left arm what do you do?"

Remus smiles a slight smile and waits to see who will jump in first.

Ponderings of an evening

2005-02-15T06:28:06Z

Here I sit more asleep than awake and once more having a waking dream of you.

~ Why did you leave me? I know why really , but ,the knowing doesn't make the reality any easier. Do you have any idea how many times I call your name or look up to see the shadow of you entering my room?

~Our time was too short. You never knew I sat outside Azkaban and howled like the beast they say I am trying to reach you. I sat for weeks trying to figure out a way inside without being placed behind those walls myself. I hate that I was so weak.If I had been a true friend I would have joined you. I am afraid I never had the courage you did. I wish I had if so all of this might have been prevented.

~ I like to think you can see the things I dream and hear me when I speak to you. It is the only real comfort I have found. I know you are laughing at me for trying to even speak with that snarky bastard but he is all that is left to me of us besides Harry. And there is no way I can burden his young shoulders with my burden. It is best he know nothing of this.

"Last month that ebony eyed git slipped something into my wolfbane potion and I whizzed green for a week. Never fear my friend I have something all planned for him he will not soon forget. Just let me tell you it involves lots of liquor and glow in the dark paint.

Remus pulled the blanket up to his chin and let the fireplace warm his slender body. As he drifted once more into that twilight sleep before dreaming his head falling forward to his chest he once more caught the shadow of his lost lover sitting on the opposite chair.

~"You came. I missed you so much. I am glad you came. Happy Valentines Day. I was hoping you would come tonight so I could tell you. I... well ,you know. "

His head slumped to his chest and his soft breathing filled the room.

lessons..come in and don't touch anything.

2005-02-12T17:03:02Z

Remus sat at his desk trying very much not to appear as ill tempered as he felt.

Normally he was a pretty even tempered and kind soul but these past few weeks had been very trying. Severus that snarky.. Well, you know, had been more fun to prank lately but that aside the feeling of complete irrational irritability was almost overwhelming. it was nearing transformation time and yet that shouldn't be a factor . He shook himself mentally and prepared to address his class.

"Ok , everyone I am sure has noticed the various containers around the room. Inside those are various dark creatures you will face at one time or another in your life. Your assignment is to chose a box. Open it carefully and deal with whatever comes out of the box. This exercise will teach you to think on your feet. I will tell you there may be anything inside those containers from a boggart to a leithifold. Choose well. I will be standing beside you to help if you get into trouble. Now who would like to begin? One at a time ."

The slender lycanthrope then stood and pulled his wand ready to watch over his class.

Private: Ebony Eyes and Amber Lies

2005-02-09T06:25:53Z

Remus walked slowly down the to the dungeons. He had to discuss a few things pertaining to the Defense classes the dark man would be teaching.

ssnapehwl: Sitting in his office, he was grading a stack of abysmal essays written by a group of third year students. "Aconite IS Monkshood," he growled. "Blasted idiots, I'm amazed they can even feed themselves." The papers were beginning to resemble a massacre in red ink. He looked up when he heard a knock on his door. "Yes, what is it?"

rlupinhwl: Remus opened the door and stepped inside closing it quietly behind him. "Severus, I need a few words with you if I may?" He had been dreading this conversation all day but it had to be done.

ssnapehwl: He sniffed disdainfully. It was the werewolf, the last of the fools the Marauders, one of the many banes of his existence. "What is it, Lupin? I'm rather busy as you can see." He looked at the man and sniffed again, "I hope this isn't an attempt at a social call."

rlupinhwl: "Now why would this be a social call you snarky bastard? I could think of about a million places I could go and get sneered at as well. Do you think if I didn't need something I would be here? And I am not talking about that bottle of firewhiskey I know you keep locked in the drawer. I wanted to know if you were going to insist on scaring the bejeesus out of the seventh years again .If so I need to store up more chocolate. Last time you did that I was out of the cheap stuff and had to feed them my hidden private stash. There were so many of them. My students aren't like the ones you play hidden potions with at Halloween. "

ssnapehwl: He sneered despite the mans words. "Well Lupin, is it that I am THAT predictable or can you smell the alcohol with your freakish canine nose." He placed his quill on his desk and leaned back in his chair, he steeped his hands. "I'm sorry if you feel the need to coddle your students, Lupin. Despite your personal delusions, we are on the verge of a war. The students need to realize that on a battlefield, no one hands them bits of chocolate. I refuse to treat them like toddlers." He continued to glare at the deplorable man.

rlupinhwl: Lupin resisted the urge to curl his upper lip. Instead his amber eyes held the ebony ones of the man across the room. He walked with purpose to the edge of Severus' desk and sat upon the edge. "I know you that well .From your blue silk boxers to your beak of a nose. And I have no delusions I know we are on the verge of war and it is our duty to train them and help them not scare them into paralysis. And you can glare at me all you want to or you could be a gentleman and offer me a drink."

ssnapehwl: He roughly pulled the drawer of the desk open and pulled out the bottle of firewhiskey. Levitating two glasses over to the desk he poured a drink for himself, leaving the bottle for the werewolf. "Blue boxers? How utterly deplorable. What, are you now rummaging through my belongings, Lupin? Without the mongrel to sniff about you need to haunt the only other male your age. "He took a drink and snorted, "Sorry to disappoint, but I like women." Staring off into the fire he thought of a certain woman with a dark curtain of hair and piercing blue eyes. He shook himself from his thoughts and returned to the conversation. "I'm sorry to disappoint you Lupin. War is not kind, you should remember that. Or were you too busy trying to save your own hide."

rlupinhwl: "Severus that is a low blow even for you. And speaking of low blows how is your father. Oh, sorry I forget you don't know who that is." He picked up the bottle and poured a liberal draught into the tumbler, then raised it to his lips. He tended to lash out with cutting jibes when the pain of remembering Sirius was too much. He would never give Severus the satisfaction of knowing how deep that cut actually was. He missed Sirius more than he could think and couldn't abide pot-shots at his memory. "War? You think I don't remember war? I was on the right side, remember you had to hide and change sides when you saw your Lord and master was loosing. Now shall we quit snapping at each other and work together for once?"

ssnapehwl: "Funny, Lupin. Very funny, didn't know you were such a comedian." He took a drink and continued, "My father? Oh I know who he was. He was the one who taught me all about hate and darkness. He taught me what it was like to be a fighter. What did yours teach you? How to scratch fleas?" He glared at his comments about the war. Lupin pulled a card that Severus now fully expected the lycanthrope to play. "You know nothing, Lupin. You have no idea of the things I've done or haven't done. You do not know when I went to Dumbledore...you just don't know." He sat there, seething and clenching his glass so tightly he had to will himself to loosen his grip so he wouldn't shatter the blasted thing. He finished off the contents and poured another, hissing, "If I hadn't changed sides, your precious Harry would have died too. The Potters weren't supposed to be home with the boy when the Dark Lord had planned his attack. Dumbledore had warned them to get the child and run but they were slow and it cost them." He took a drink and narrowed his eyes, raising a single elegant brow. "If you hadn't been so wrapped up in your own drama with Black then maybe you would have noticed Pettigrew's disappearances more often. Maybe even question the little bastard."

rlupinhwl: "Talk about someone that has no clue. What in the name of all that's holy makes you think I had no clue? I never liked that rat bastard but the decision wasn't mine. I am sure you above all people understand decisions that weren't your own. I will go to my death with the nightmares of knowing it was me that talked James and Lily into changing their secret keeper. ME, I DID IT!! And now they are dead and it is my fault. Is that what you wanted to hear? Well now you've heard it. What else do you want to hear? How I tried to claw my way into Azkaban to save Sirius? Or how I tried to find what was left of Voldemort and finishes the job?" Remus was shaking with emotion and yet bound and determined not to show more of himself to Snape than he absolutely must. He downed the contents of his glass and filled it once more almost to the brim. Abusing the fine liquor with the speed of his ingestion he downed almost half of the newly filled tumbler. Feeling the brew begin to take the edge off of his frazzled nerves, he said, "Look Severus, I know there are probably more secrets between the two of us than any others in the order. So can we just agree to that one point? Or should we continue making each other bleed?" Remus let his amber orbs wash over Severus' face.

ssnapehwl: He sniffed, "I didn't want to know, at least not until you began babbling like an adolescent girl." No longer hiding it, he smirked, enjoying the anger he was causing the werewolf, remembering the pain that he and his friends had caused him. "I'll agree that we both have secrets. I will not agree about the bleeding, as you are obviously much shallower then myself, you have yet to even scratch my surface." He offered the challenge; leaning back in his seat and putting his perfectly polished shoes up on his desk. The firewhiskey was beginning to make him feel rather warm inside, maybe perhaps too warm and comfortable with his current conversations companion. "So Lupin, you only came here tonight to warn me against playing rough with the students. Do you have another purpose for wasting my time? Or do you enjoy dredging up horrid memories and hateful words." He raised a taunting eyebrow, "You know I enjoy using verbal daggers. It is my favourite pastime."

rlupinhwl: "Well, I rather enjoyed the sight of you tied to the Christmas tree while Pads wet your robes. But that is just me. If it is verbal sparring you want then that is what you shall have you snarky bastard. And I didn't warn you against playing rough, play as you wish. I merely wished to know if I needed to alert Madam Pomfrey about your fetish so she would be prepared. We all know at Halloween we have to be ready for your crazed bottle surprises. I suppose with you teaching this one class we should have known to be ready for monkeyshines from it as well.“ He finished his drink and poured another refreshing Severus' glass as he did.”You know scratch that I think my favourite picture of you is when we were playing naked twister and you lost so abysmally.” Remus laughed to himself at the memory. Sirius had tricked him into playing with them one night in Grimmauld. It was one of their finest hours.

ssnapehwl: Severus snorted into his glass, "Crazed bottles of surprise, indeed. I only assign the special potions to my favourite students. Those that I trust are capable of not screwing up. Then on Halloween they get a treat." He took the proffered whiskey from Lupin. "I'll have you know I only lost one student. He did not die, but he aged. The damned fool drank a potion I made for a Geomagus. Apparently the daft boy was colour blind and grabbed the wrong bottle. We all know Geomagus have a unique physiology, and this blasted fool drank it and aged four years." He shook his head slowly, long shiny black locks falling into his eyes. Eyes that were soon narrowed with disdain. "Naked Twister. Sadistic bastards. I told you I didn't fancy blokes. How you both managed to get me that liquored up and convinced to play such an appalling game is beyond me." He then glanced at the drink in his hand and then back up at Lupin. "I still do not fancy men, if that is what your intentions are here tonight. If you are planning on getting me thoroughly pissed and then performing acts of debauchery on my person, you will find that I know many places I can stick my wand that I doubt you will find pleasurable."

rlupinhwl: "Well I would tell you to take your wand and shove it but you would probably enjoy that too much. And I didn't hold your nose and force the liquor down your throat. You were in complete agreement to that game if memory serves me right and it is your own fault if you got your willy yanked. How was I to know you were colour blind after only thirteen shots. And Sirius really did think it was the bell pull for the house elf. You know he was really pissed by then.” Remus drained his glass and replenished both his and Severus'. He then wormed his way on top of the desk to sit with his legs crossed and reach into his robes to pull out another bottle and hold it up. "See I brought one in case you were low. I do think about you sometimes. "

ssnapehwl: "Honestly, Lupin. You expect me to believe that tripe? Thirteen shots of Gigantine Wine...GIGANTINE WINE! It's made for bloody Giants. It's supposed to be watered down and we were drinking it straight from the bottle. It's a bloody wonder we didn't go blind, though, I almost did when Black began to hula dance on top of the coffee table." He pulled a face of disgust, "Gah, I still have nightmares." He took the full glass and quickly drained it, mumbling, "Bell pull my arse. Bloody reprobate, unable to keep his effing hands to himself is what I say." He allowed his face to be swallowed by his hair again, to hide the slight blush to his cheeks. Though he was so pissed it could have been the rosy glow of the alcohol. When Lupin lifted the bottle he waved his hands dismissively, "Well I try not to think of you unless I have to." He then snatched the bottle and poured another drink.

rlupinhwl: "You snarky bastard I always knew you had to force yourself not to think of me. But you do have to think of me don't you? At least once a month or run the risk of being taken by the wolf." Remus began to laugh softly remembering Sirius dancing and how his eyes glimmered with mischief and what fun they had always had together. Like two sides of the same coin. God he missed him. Remus drained his glass and filled it once more feeling the warmth of the liquor filling him from his toes to his chest. "And you can't tell me you didn't enjoy that night. It took you ten minutes to tell him to stop pulling. And you should have read the label if you weren’t up to drinking the same thing we were at least you knew it was safe. Not like the time you got into that Bottle in Grimmauld that was so old only Kreacher knew what was in it. I never saw anyone so sick." Remus gave him a mischievous look and smiled his most innocent smile.

ssnapehwl: Ignoring the obvious ploy to get him to comment on the 'pulling' incident, Severus decided to tackle the other issues. "I must agree, forcing myself to make your blasted potion once a month does keep me from fearing for my life. Though, what amazes me is that you trust me not to drop a bit of silver nitrate into the brew." He was very drunk and as he tried to raise a taunting eyebrow, he found it to be very difficult. He realized that he hadn't been this pissed in years and knew he'd definitely be paying for it in the morning. "That was a rare bottle of merlot made by wood nymphs. It induced euphoric hallucinations that were well worth hugging the porcelain Goddess the next day." He couldn't believe it, but he actually snickered. Merlin he was beginning to hate himself for allowing his walls to fall and the liquor to make him relax. So relaxed in fact, he couldn't stop his tongue before the next sentence flew out of his mouth. "What do you know about the Lee family, the daemon bounty hunters from the States?"

rlupinhwl: Remus raised an inquisitive eye to Severus. "Lee family? You mean the Amazon woman who is here helping the Ministry? Julia? Beautiful, if I was of that sort of mind. Her father Brian was a legend and she will give you a run for your money in potions brewing my friend." He then chuckled slightly and peered at Severus. "Euphoric hallucinations? Hmm, and here I thought all this time it was a secret lust you had for me. That was some snog. How in the name of all that's holy did you think I came to be holding your head so you wouldn't drown? Especially, when you were yelling ‘BUBBLES, I need Bubbles’, at the top of your lungs and I had to climb in the bloody tub with you to keep you from really buying it” Remus was so pissed he would never remember half of this in the morning but it was funny now.

ssnapehwl: Severus leaned forward in his chair and placed his forehead on the cool surface of his desk and muttered into his lap. "She's in the country? She said she was going back to the States...bloody hell. What if she shows up here tonight and I'm pissed? What then, Lupin? Do I swagger up to her like Black and promptly puke on her leather boots?" He lifted his head and smirked, "She wears leather everything. That is quite...what is it those insufferable brats say...hot?" He slammed his head back down, tomorrow morning he'd be mildly curious as to how he received the bruise, but for now he cared not. "I did not snog you, you flaming reprobate." He wouldn't admit that he didn't quite remember that night either. He lifted his head slowly once again, "I hate you, and you do realize that. This changes nothing. And considering how we will both hate life tomorrow, I doubt it would matter." He glared, finishing off his drink. "She is quite lovely. Strong too. We met this past summer while I was collecting those rare potions ingredients in Mexico." His mind wandered, remembering how the sun hit her dark hair and made it glow like dark honey. "She has a tattoo also.” He had no idea what or why he was babbling as he was, maybe he shouldn't have had that fifteenth whiskey. "Hit me!" he said, slamming his glass on the desk, at the same time his head came down and he passed out cold.

rlupinhwl: The slender lycanthrope let loose his first real laugh of the evening as Severus' head hit his desk. He had great fun twipping his chain this evening and having a much higher tolerance for liquor thanks to so many nights with Sirius was a definite plus. He gave a passing thought to Severus being in love and shook his head slightly. Well she was a catch. Remus stretched and slipped off of the smooth desk stretching and looking around. With a laugh he picked up his wand and left a bouquet of flowers on Severus' night stand along with a note that said......: "Thanks for the memories. Love~RJL~" He then turned and with the help of his wand placed Severus snugly in his bed and made his clothing all pile themselves into a heap on the floor. He then headed out of the door to his solitary chambers to once more seek solace in his memories of a pair of silver eyes.

Owl to ...?

2005-01-26T06:53:35Z

The circumstances are more than understandable. I would not have been able to write a reply until a few hours ago myself. I'm sure you have alternates, meaning, anything but the original Wolfsbane potion, but I'm also sure you know of it's effects. The shaking, the ache, etcedera. It's not merely a swallow and solve type deal.

But I ramble and I do not wish to at this point. Rather to address the content in your letter. Though while it is true there are many people to talk to, not many would sit and listen to this-and understand it. Which is horrid for me to expect, and yet, when... I imagine you know, so I'll just say it. When Sirius was here, he was that person. So was James, Lily, and Peter during his days. I only wish I could easily trust people, especially my students, with them knowing who and what I truly am.

Thank you, in most sincerity, for allowing this letter chain to be sent back and forth. If you ever need anything, your owl knows how to find me.

~R.J.Lupin

PRIVATE: Musings of the Werewolf

2005-01-24T00:50:59Z

Diary,

I look outside, she has not risen yet, but she will shortly. I can feel that dull ache in my bones, in my heart and mind. It's horrible, that a part of me actually enjoys this. I've locked my door, although I enjoy my students visiting me for help, I cannot help them tonight. Not while she occupies my time and my good intentions tonight.

I miss him more than ever during these nights, another reason why I locked myself in. I cannot be breaking down infront of my students. They do not deserve that, I am their teacher, their pillar. I will not allow myself to fall at their mercy. As if most of them don't have enough to worry about as well.

I wonder... how is my new "friend" this night? Probably better off than me. As a loner, it is easier to get better access to certain things. Much easier. I hope, "he"(?) is well. I have contemplated sending another owl, yet tonight due to circumstances I worry of it's safe return.

Wolfsbane, has never been easy to drink down. For one, it burns your throat, for another it literally kills off a piece of your do I dare write... soul? Sirius always told me, that I was no monster, merely, I did not have the correct tools to be safe and myself at the same time.

....i wonder sometimes.. how true that is.(was?)

~R.J.Lupin

Owl to Hermione Granger

2005-01-19T19:08:23Z

Miss Granger,

I have noticed that as of late, you are slightly distracted in my classes. Worry not, this has nothing to do with your grades, I am merely wondering if everything is all right, and if you would like someone to talk to. I'm almost always in my quarters after classes, if you need anything. To see you of all people, Miss. Granger, distracted is an amazing sight indeed. Please let me know, if there is anything I can do.

~R.J.Lupin

Private: In the East Gardens, after classes last Friday

2005-01-19T19:00:17Z

(sorry this took so long to post, LJ was down, my RL was busy, but it's such a pretty rp.. I HAD to post it.)

Lupin: It was a rather bright day for January. The air was crisp, but not frigid, more refreshing than anything. Lupin was walking through the side gardens of Hogwarts. He was nearer to the East side of the Castle (I think?) where the Quidditch Pitch was located. Before that however, was a lovely greenery, with assorted wild plants and trees. He was alone with nature, and in truth, that's where he was happiest. Remember when we used to come here boys? Grab a bag of chocolate frogs, cards, perhaps even some Fire Whiskey snuck through the doors, and just.. be. His favorite memories of the Marauders was here in this garden, happy as could be, shooting the day away.

Hannah: Hannah, tired of the incesent whispering around the Hufflepuff common room, had decided to take advantage of surprisingly mild, winter day, by taking a stroll out of doors. Her thoughts weighed heavily upon her, and she found a sort of refuge in the quiet of the outdoors. With out much regard to where she was going, she walked into the East gardens and came to a halt as she recognized the man walking thoughtfully through the grounds a head of her.

Lupin:Moony! Come over here, look at these flowers. James was always so interested in the world around him, always asking 'the brains' of the group to explain it to him. Remus! Over here, look! Unicorn tail hairs. And Sirius, always finding him little scrips and scraps to add to his notebook. Back when Hogwarts was young, Unicorns were not afraid to walk up on the grounds and feed. Now, too terrified to leave the forest, you seldom saw any. Remus sighed quietly, finding a too familiar group of rocks, and sat. Classes had ended for the day, he needn't be anywhere. His eyes cast over the Quidditch field. I'm going to beat the pants off of Slytherin tomorrow! Yeah! We'll be cheering for ya, right guys? Always a chorus of 'of course.' My friends, my dear friends.. where are you now? Why, am I the one left? He sighed, alone in his thoughts.

Hannah: Hannah hesitated for a moment, trying to decide whether to turn around, and find another deserted are or if...well, maybe Professor Lupin was exactly who she needed to run into. Always worried about feeling a burden to those around her, she wondered if he were out here along for a reason. She ultimately decided to simply ask, then do her best to judge her next move by his answer. "Good evening Professor," she said somewhat shyly, as she walked up behind him. "Would, er, would it be alright if I spoke with you?" she asked nervously.

Lupin: He had heard noises behind him, being technically part wolf, gave him keener senses. His mind was trying to put it behind him however, and it ultimately lost. Staring off into space remembering things would do him no good at this point. He needed to be more aggressive than that, but not yet. When he heard the familiar voice he instantly turned, a soft smile on his face-a trademark to all who knew him. He gestured for the girl to come over. "Of course Hannah, of course. Come, sit sit sit," He gestured with a wave of his whole arm to the rocks that were around him. Anytime a student felt the need to talk he would be there. It was what made him who he was. Werewolf or no.

Hannah: Hannah gave a weak, but grateful smile and sat down next to Professor Lupin. His trademark soft smile put her at ease. Where to start? Could she talk to him about Zacharias? It seemed odd to her that she should be comfortable confiding in a teacher of the opposite gender, but then again, there were many things about Professor Lupin she didn't understand. "I'm not quite sure where to start," she said honestly. "I have become the subject of so much school gossip, for one reason or another, that I can hardly stand to be indoors or around the judging eyes of my friends." She looked fixedly at her hands as she spoke. "Do you know much about Zacharias Smith, Professor?"

Lupin: Something new, was troubling Hannah this eve. It wasn't her father, nor was it academics. It was something else. Whatever it was, Lupin was there to listen and try to mend as best he could, the situation. He waited for her to sit, and then when she spoke, he nodded. Many people, including himself, had no clue how to start things. A common and annyoing problem. Start? What do you mean start? Start at the beginning of course! Sirius' voice, ringing in his mind. He did however, listen to Hannah closely as she spoke, nodding at the end of the sentence, giving her the support she needed to go on. Gossip, specifically being the center of it, if he didn't understand that concept back when he was in Hogwarts, he would have been blind. And deaf. When Hannah switched her gaze to her hands he smiled softly, answering the questions. "Mr. Smith, produces a need for learning, and an amazing Patronus. He is a good yet, sarcastic student." He had heard the rumors, who didn't at this point?

Hannah: Hannah smiled softly...lovingly even, as her professor described Zach. He is a good yet, sarcastic student. A quiet giggle escaped her mouth at that incredibly accurate statement. It sounded like Professor Lupin saw past Zach's exterior, to the good of him, and this brought her hope. "Then you have more than likely heard some, if not all, of school gossip. Someone close to me expressed concern about the fact that Zach and I have recently become so close. She assumes my feelings are only heated by the hurt of losing my father, and at first I thought she was crazy, but all day I have been questioning myself, scrutinizing my actions." Hannah's face blushed a bit with her next statement. "I have not quite been myself lately..." She looked up at him briefly, "I am a prefect, Professor, and I take that responsibility seriously, but...well, I've broken a few rules here and there. Something that is quite uncharacteristic of me." Hannah sighed, frustrated that she was talking so much and getting no where. She was silent for a moment, trying to chose her words better. "Is it really so dangerous for me to care so much for someone after...well, after losing someone so dear to me?"

Lupin: Indeed gossip was something some of his students did best. They knew how to treat it right, make it happy and then, get it to reproduce. It was like a trading business, you had pure bred gossip, and mixed. Depending on sources and timing. It was a rather odd-but correct-way to think of it really. He had heard the gossip about Mr. Smith and Hannah, many many times. He had Lavender, Pavarti, and Padma in his classes afterall. Along with a few stray Hufflepuffs here and there. All they were talking about was not finding Hannah in her bed, then seeing her hold Zacharias's hand the next day. Which of course, meant they had sexual relations. Holding of the hand, was deemed apparantly 'third base'. Lupin almost caught himself laughing over the familiar term from so long ago. He didn't though, he might have upset the girl. Listening carefully, he heard her explain everything about her father, her feelings, and her friends worries. All too common in this stage, especially for those with someone just deceased. She was right, she hadn't been herself, and he knew following the rules was important to her. So then, the infamous question: 'why am I doing this?'. Lupin sighed, leant backwards and stared off into the forest a moment. "Do you think of him when you close your eyes? There is a big picture of him infront of you, not allowing you to see other boys?" He shifted slightly. "Hannah, if at night you look at what you've done during the day, and there is a sinking feeling, a sick feeling, then you're on rebound. But, if you still feel nothing but love for him, you're not. You're merely finding yourself-and," with this he smirked softly,"as far as 'breaking the rules' and 'setting an example' go. Don't push yourself so hard, that you miss out on your own life." Lupin took a breath. "Following the rules is important, but finding and utilizing what you need, in order to better yourself, is more important." Yes Remus, you did just tell a student to break the rules.

Hannah: She listened intently. How was it that he seemed to understand everything she through his way, so well? "Professor, that's the thing--I don't regret anything I've done, only that I might have set less than a worthy examply for the younger girls in my house. And contrary to popular belief, I am not having sex with Zacharias Smith!" She was surprised at her own boldness as she vented frustration about the assumptions that had been made. "My father's death did not bring about my feelings for Zach, Professor. They merely brought into light that the feelings were very real and actually quite mutual. I am not with Zach because I lost someone I love, and yes..." she sighed. "When I close my eyes he is all I see, and that scares me because I don't feel like I should be allowed to be as happy as I am in Zach's company. Does that make any sense?" She rolled her eyes, turning back to the thoughts of frustration. "But I don't like the fact that my friends are worried by my behavior or that they can't see the beauty in a person who is, in my eyes, despite all his flaws, quite wonderful...at the end of the evening, I feel more alone, because I wish he was close. He has been so good to me, and here I am rambling on in confusion, wondering if I'm doing the right thing, but in the end really knowing where my heart stands." Hannah looked up and blushed brightly. She had just told her teacher, in many ways, a man who was becoming her mentor, all that she couldn't tell her closest friends.

Lupin: A set of teeth rested above his lower lip and chewed on it absently, still listening contently to what Hannah had to say. Poor girl, no one to vent to really. Sure she had shoulders and arms to go to, but what about people to just lose it all to? No one. Especially now that she was, rising from the ashes so to say, with this new boy. Of course she didn't want to cry infront of him, of course she didn't want to make a scene. Poor thing. He shifted, eyes cast down a moment at a stray silver flower, then back up at the girl, noting the hint of frustration etched in her voice. Silently, he pleaded that she just let it all out, and out it all came. She was yelling, not so much in a bad way, but yelling still. Her body language had changed, and she suddenly wasn't 'Hannah Abbott, Hufflepuff Prefect' now, she was a teenager, feeling true emotion. Lupin paid close attention to her actions, watching her hand movements, listening to her enunciations. Everything. She was making sense all throughout, and he waited until she was done, and then began to speak. "Hannah, to not regret things is bliss, and a gift. Cherish that with Mr. Smith." Regret and him did a dangerous tango every now and then. "Setting an example, and proclaiming and living an example, along with being the example are all different things. Finding out how they are different for you, will give you the stability you need to fix this piece in your mind." A lesson learned well from James, the most popular kid in school. "Allowing yourself to be alive, open, and willing to accept other's feelings, although triggered by something else, is completely acceptable, and normal in people your age." He tried not to ever use the word 'children' with those above third year. It was unnecessary. "Everyone deserves that bit of happiness Hannah, everyone, sometime in their lives. Whether it be for a long or short time span, we all need and deserve it." Sirius, sometimes I wonder, am I allowed, as a werewolf, a killer, a monster, to be loved and happy this way, with you?-- Don't be silly Remus, every living being deserves to be loved, and happy, and you're not a monster, stop blaming things on yourself. "As far as your friends go, explain to them, you feel it, this is real. Ask them to be behind you, supporting you, as true friends should. Remind them, seeing things on the outside, for face value, is not at all alike at seeing them within, for true value." Also guilty of rambling. " And Hannah, do remember, as long as you know where your heart stands, that is all that matters." He looked to her with a serious glisten in his eye. He meant that last statement, with all his heart.

Hannah: Hannah looked over at Professor Lupin in wonder. She did the only thing that seemed natural to her. She threw her arms around him, almost like she did her father, when he was alive a well and capable of sharing wisdom that left her speechless. She held on tightly to him for a moment, tears in her eyes, and said, "Thank you Professor...I..well...thank you. You remind of someone very wise and very dear to me." She let go of him and stood up. "I know I should be getting back, but there was one more matter I had hoped to discuss with you in the future" she looked at the ground. "I...I have been unable to produce a proper patronus, and I've been practicing quite a lot. I was wondering if you might coach me in it, aside, where, you know, the rest of my class doesn't have to know I cannot do it?"

Lupin: When he hugged Hannah, it was an amazing sensation of relief and happiness that washed over him. The girl was an intense and wonderful human being. Someday, she would change the world. He knew it, he had seen it in her eyes the first time he laid them upon her. When she spoke, he realized exactly who she was talking about, and was honored. Mr. Abbott had been according to Dumbledore, an amazingly strong Muggle, who loved his daughter, his precious jewel, more than anything. He held the girl close, hugging her warmly, and then when she let go, she was smiling. Lupin prided himself in his ability to make his students, and his friends, smile. Even if only for a few moments, it was still there. He listened to her tone change, something close to embarrassment and a bit of shame. He looked at her, hands on his knees, leaning down toward her. "Miss Abbott, I believe that would be the best idea." He spoke with rather professional tones, it seemed to give the situation a bit less, stress. "I'll find you, or you find me, anytime you have that you're willing to spend an hour out of, we'll work on it." He winked, "And it will be our secret." He nodded, then smiled. "Now, off you go, before you're late for dinner." He watched her walk off, intent on learning and intent on helping others. An ideal student.

Another wonderful afternoon with Miss Hannah Abbott.
~R.J.Lupin

Owl Back to 'A Friend who Understands'

2005-01-18T01:42:43Z

I don't know who you are. Though I do know enough not to ask, if you are truly what you make yourself out to be. You're unknown to the world, in more senses than others can imagine. Why you contacted me, or how you contacted me through faculty means, is a mystery. It shall remain this, I already know. You needn't tell me 'which side' you are on either. For I already know, we technically make our own side. Though if you're contacting me out of the others,(for I know you realize there ARE others)you must be in some agreeance with my terms. Either way. I don't fear you, nor do I care where this owl goes, for I know it will return safely. I only want to thank you, whoever you are, for actually taking the time to send me that letter.

There is no one for me, to speak to, in this manner anymore. There is no one left. Though, I have a feeling you know that already.

~R.J.Lupin

Gryffindor Common Room.(It was around 1 AM, so it's tentativley 'private')

2005-01-14T02:31:01Z

(Private, but stirrings, mumbled words, something like that is possible.)

Me: One foot infront of the other, silent as the night, and yet bright as day in mannerism. Lupin, like so many other nights, was walking the halls. Tonight he was near Gryffindor Tower, a quick check of his watch-nifty little muggle gadget- and he figured someone would still be awake. He walked up the stairs nodding to the portraits here and there, and when he reached the Fat Lady, he nodded his head in polite gesture. "Avis." He stepped through to the common room.

Harry: Harry was sitting infront of the fire, alone and watching. Almost half awake. His time on the Pitch had proved to be more then just a physical work out. His mind was going crazy like the fire, and whether he realized or not, he was crying.

Me: No words, not yet, Lupin walked over and sat down next to Harry. Quiet and calm, he looked once at the fire, and then back to the boy. He shifted slightly, and then put his hand over one of Harry's. It remained there, as he watched the fire, waiting.

Harry: He wasn't surprised by the touch of his teachers hand. He just started to talk. "I really am different. Everyone thinks I'm so different...I am." He closed his eyes, tears slowly falling. "And now...I'm more alone then ever...."

Me: His other hand reached into his robes, pulling out a white hankerchief, pressed and clean. He held it out to Harry, speaking softly. "You're not alone." It wasn't anything poetic or beautiful, no, just the truth this time. Lupin sighed, he knew this was coming. It was all a matter of time. "Many people are here for you, all the time. Why are you alone?"

Harry: "Sirius was the only family I had left. You know, I told Hannah it was all right to cry. Yes, your here. And that's good...really! But..." It wasn't the same. Sirius was closer to James and Lily near the end. He took the hanky and blew his nose, taking his glasses off. They were fogging anyway.

Me: The not so beautiful beginning of the mourning process. Harry had moved on through denial, now the anger and pent up frustration was all that was left. Unfortunately for Hannah, without knowing it, the poor girl had triggered it. It was for the better at any rate, these feelings needed to be sorted out after all. "What is family?" Remus didn't have much of it himself. "Family, is a word. Nothing more. The word only implies biological ties." He looked at Harry, squarely. "Just because you don't have many biological ties left, does not mean you are alone."

Harry: All this was getting through, but it wasn't. Family? Remus was right. He never had a real family. His family stuck him in a broom closet the first 12 years of his life. HIS family kept so many secrets from him. And the luck he was having with women lately...his destiny..."I'm never going to have a family." His expression was pained. "I'm going to die, alone, with no other...knowing that Sirius...Diggory....are dead because...of me."

Me: Something snapped within the Professor, not in a bad way, more in a 'Now is the time' way. He placed a comforting arm around Harry, and pulled him close for a moment. "You will have one, if that's what you want in life." He held Harry closer, when he felt the boy's body tense up. Listening he shook his head. "They were not you're fault." Of all people, to blame deaths upon, who better than the Werewolf? Lupin had, experience, in the matter of blaming deaths on himself. Even if it wasn't entirely his fault. "Cedric was a horrible loss, but only a brief showing of what will happen if you lose what is most important-your faith." He took a breath before the next one. "Sirius.. those who fall behind the curtain, are meant to fall there." He closed his eyes for a moment, "...it wouldn't be there, if they were not." He looked back over at Harry. "You blame too much on yourself."

Harry: He latched on, sobbing. He didn't care who saw them. Didn't even care if Malfoy walked in and spread it to the whole school. He was right. He shouldn't blame himself for so much. But Harry was also right. Some of his confusion lifted as he suddenly came to a realization: He was different. He always would be. His pain for Sirius' loss wasn't just his own, it was Remus' too. Harry had lost a God-father; a man he barely knew. Lupin had lost, he had lost more.

Me: What else could he do? He held onto the boy, held him close, whispered soothing noises. He rocked him slightly back and forth, and in his mind, all he could remember was Sirius. Those nights he would look at the moon, two days before the horrible pain, the suffering would begin. How Sirius would hold him much like this, his scent. Everything. Though, Lupin was a composed man, he was able to keep it together, his eyes were slightly wet, but nothing more. His hand came up and cupped the side of Harry's head gently.If only I could carry some of the burden for him...

Harry: He looked up through the tears. He looked at Lupin, needing an answer. He had been called many things through his life. The Boy Who Lived, A Savior, Perfect Potter. And in a way, he tried to be all those things; tried to please everyone. Gain trust and acceptance. Now, he questioned all that. And he needed to know. "What am I...?"

Me: Finally an easy question. Lupin sighed, looked at him earnestly and dearly. "You're you. Nothing more, nothing less. Harry James Potter son of James Potter and Lily Evans." He winked. "With a bit of something extra, added into the mix, dealing with fate and destiny."

Harry: A shuffling from upstairs made him pull away. He listened to see if whatever it was came down the stairs. But it didn't. He sighed, realizing the state he was in and whiped at his face roughly. Taking a deep breath, he looked to Lupin. He nodded, acknowledging that what he had said made sense. Even though, it didn't seem to help at the time.

Me: "Rest assured Harry, you'll find who you are, for yourself." He patted the boy on the back, and stood up. He looked back down to Harry. "Best get to bed. I want a good showing of your Patronus in class tomorrow." Lupin held out his hand for the other to grasp, help him get up so he could get to bed at least.

Harry: He took it, and rose slowly to his feet. Sleep? More like lie there, once again and stare at his ceiling. "Right. Have to do that infront of everyone." Only proving once again, that his fellow classmates would expect it out of him. And why was it that he had gained more comfort in his Professor's arms then in the kiss of those girls? Another headache, for another time.

Me: A nod of his head showed that Harry wasn't the only one, who understood that 'sleeping' meant lying there awake until the potion kicked in. He leant forward, bending over a little, to gaze at Harry's eyes. He shook his head. "I'll bring you some of the potion I drink to get me to sleep at night." While he knew these confused sleepless nights were important to being a teenager in general, they needed to be a bit less trying on the boy. He turned, and began to walk out. "See you tomorrow. Good night." Somewhere in his mind, he heard Sirius say 'Goodnight' too. Somewhere..

Harry: "Night...." He was alone again in the room. Looking at the fire one last time, he wrapped his arms around himself and made his way up to laying awake. He would say to sleep, but it was doubtful.

Questions #2 and #3

2005-01-11T17:29:46Z

#2.

What Wizard and/or Witch thought of the Entrail-Expelling Curse?
+10 points.
Bonus, around what time period did this wizard/witch create this curse?
+5 points.

#3.
What is the Protean Charm?
+15

Please only answer one question per your house. More shall be coming soon.

~R.Lupin

PRIVATE (only faculty knows about this)

2005-01-11T05:59:57Z

Perhaps I really am loosing my mind? Finally, the madness within is taking over. That has to be the answer, isn't it?
Why am I back here, in these halls, when at every corner all I can remember is him. It's draining to say the least, the only comfort I have, is the still moonless sky.

That and my classes each day, though, Harry is turning out to be more like James than he'll ever know. Though I see bits of Lily in him ready to spring out when the time is needed.

I wonder why Tonks hasn't responded to my Owl yet. Off topic, but still on my mind.

It's a Monday night, it's one AM. I have classes tomorrow, this is not a good foot to start on.

~R.J.Lupin

(OOC NOTE: so everyone knows, not many people know about Sirius and Remus having a relationship, surely the ones in the Order do, but not many students. So far, Harry and Hannah are the only ones to know the truth. Rumors however, are around. ^^)

PRIVATE: Chat with Hannah Abbot.

2005-01-07T05:33:05Z

A conversation I won't ever forget.

Me: Having finished his preparations for the next day, on a whim, and a rumor, Lupin headed toward the 'Hufflepuff' area of the castle. The walls were brighter here, painted yellow. Candlesticks had the picture of the famed badger melded into the metal. He was looking for Miss Hannah Abbot, according to the grapevine, she was in grave need of some sort of support.

Hannah: Professor?

Me: Stopping in his tracks, he looked over. There was the girl he was searching for. "Hannah." He walked closer to her, already feeling the anguish that was wreaking havoc on her emotional state. He didn't need to say 'how are you?' or 'what's going on?' or 'I heard you're news through Dumbledore' or anything like that. He merely opened his arms, and wrapped the girl in a warm hug.

Hannah: Hannah was startled from her daze, by a voice calling her name. Surprised, she jumped up, whiping her tears on her sleeves, trying desperately to maintain some form of composure. As she recognized Professor Lupin, with his knowing, quiet eyes and his open arms, she let fall what little defense she'd been prepared to put up. She let out a sob, into his chest, as he hugged her, not knowing what to say only grateful for someone to hold onto.

Me: Comforting arms wrapped around the girl, one patted her on the back gently, the other holding her close. Lupin always found the best way to comfort others, especially younger others, was to go with his internal instinct. Hannah didn't seem the type to talk to, rather she just wanted someone to hold onto, something that wouldn't just walk off. Lupin could do that, he rubbed her back gently, making soft 'shhh' noises, knowing too well the pain of losing a loved one.

Hannah: Hannah wasn't sure how long she'd been crying before she finally let go of the person holding her. She took a step back, not sure if she felt embarrassed or not--not sure if she was capable of feeling anything she would have thought she'd feel in a situation such as this. For a moment all Hannah did was stare at the ground. Finally, gathering a little courage and scraping for what words she could find, she said, "I can't--I...I don't know what to do..." Her voice trailed off as fresh tears streamed down her face. "I want to go home...I want to wake up and find this all a terrible dream," she said finally looking Professor Lupin in the eyes. There was a type of compassion in those eyes, a compassion that spoke volume with out saying a word.

Me: He let the girl go slowly, then waited as she regained her composure. He didn't need to speak, not yet, he waited for her to be ready to talk. She needed to be the first one to speak in this situation. When she did speak, Lupin listened with full attention. He remained silent, until she had finished and then spoke with a gentle tone. "Losing a loved one, is the most terrible feeling. You're lost in the dark, and you have no idea where to turn." He gently wiped the new tears off her cheeks. "However, going home will not help you get through this. Trying to deny that it happened, will not help either." His voice was more gentle now. "Death, is like any other thing in this world, it is an experience. Stay here Hannah, work hard, know you're making him proud, and let yourself feel the sadness." He looked back to her, a knowing glance cast in her direction.

Hannah: At her Professor's last sentence she let out a sort of choked, cry. It was as if he'd looked deep into her heart and read her very thoughts. She slid down the wall and sat on the ground as a whole new wave of hurt swept over her. Hannah covered her face with her hands; she was broken in pieces, vulnerable, and in front of one of her most reveared and respected teachers. Her face was pink with shy, embarrassment, but she spoke anyway, this time with a forced calm, willing herself not to cry anymore. "He was the one who pushed me to do my best. He was the one who believed in me. He fought and fought that disease, said he couldn't wait to see who I was going to become--He was my inspiration, my reason for pushing myself to become all I--all he thought I could be." She paused, as she tried to identify this new emotion that invaded her grief. "And now he's gone, but it doesn't really feel like he's really gone! Does that make any sense?" she asked, exasperated. "And...and..." she looked at the ground again, "part of me is angry! And I'm angry at myself for feeling angry. It's not like he I chose die! What kind of person feels angry because their father dies?!"

Me: Lupin with the swiftness of a wolf was down by the girls side in a moment. He merely crouched listening intently, moreso, covering her from other intruders, not that anyone would be by. But if they were, he could easily apparate themselves out of there. He listened to her, waiting, she was going to break at any second. And when she yelled, and screamed, he knew. No more touching, now was the time for talking. "It makes perfect sense that you're angry. It's a normal part of losing someone Hannah. When Sirius.. I was furious. It took me awhile to get over that." He kept his voice on an even tone. "And he still can be you're inspiration Hannah, because he's not completely gone. He still lives in you, and in your memory."

Hannah: Hannah was slightly dumbstruck. She had heard about Sirius' death from Hermione. All this time she had wanted to say something to Harry, but had not the words to do so. She was slightly surprised at the even tone Lupin kept while he spoke of his friend. Quite suddenly it seemed she was overcome with something between guilt and compassion. It was usually her role to comfort others; it felt a little--no, a lot--out of place to be the one being comforted. For the first time since reading the letter, her thoughts lay on something other than her own hurt. "Oh, Professor...I'm sorry. I didn't realize--I mean, I had forgotten...I..." but words were failing her. The anger left her face and was replaced by something she couldn't indentify. Hannah had thought no one would understand her, or worse, she thought that people might think her selfish for feeling the way she did, but this was understanding...and wisdom. "How do you, how does someone move on when such a vital piece of their heart has been torn away?" She looked at him in earnest, praying he could help her make sense of the mess that felt like her life. After all, he seemed to show more understanding than she had ever hoped to find.

Me: The professor watched as the emotions crashed and ran vivid all over the girls face, some winning, others losing. A battle of energies so to say. He listened to the girl speak, and he smiled rather softly at her words of comfort. He merely shook his head, "Nothing to be sorry about Hannah. I'm not here to help you. You matter just as much as everyone else." He waited, again watching the girls features change. Inside, he felt his memories flooding back, Minerva, Hagrid and Albus all there for him nearly instantaneously after Sirius's death. Sirius was more than a friend to him, and they all knew, all knew too well the hurt and pain this caused him to have. But he did get through it, and he still felt his old, lover near him. Akward as it was, he did. He shifted, making himself comfortable on the floor, sitting by Hannah instead of facing her, before he spoke again, he reach into his cloak and pulled out a hankerchief, handing it to her. "Wipe your eyes," he shifted, looking at his hands momentarily then looked to the wall. Could he tell this girl? Why not? She was a trustworthy person. "Hannah, Sirius and I, were not just friends, we were much more than that." He looked to her, and sighed. "I was able to move on, because I knew he was watching, I knew he was still here. I knew, I had to be strong for him. I had my downs yes, and I let myself roll through the emotions, I let myself feel it. But I didn't stop what I was doing. Our fight Hannah, is the fight for the greater good, and because I fully believe in that, I kept going." He looked downward, and smiled softly. "We will see them again someday, don't forget that."

Hannah: Hannah tilted her head in curiousity, as she listened to her Professor speak. Sirius had been more. She let the words sink in. She didn't bother wiping the tears falling down her face. These tears were not for, but for this man who had lost someone who had been, what Hannah imagined, his everything--his friend, brother, lover...She finally dried her tears with the hankerchief he had handed her. She sat quietly, in awe, even after he had stopped speaking. She looked at hankerchief in her hands, thoughtfully. Our fight Hannah, is the fight for the greater good. It almost sounded like something her father would have said. It was most definitely a statement he would have agreed with. Her father wouldn't have wanted her to give up, and would she really see him again? "You really think we'll see them again?" She paused, but not long enough to let Lupin answer, "Do you think my father could be watching me as well?"

Me: He shifted slightly turning to Hannah completely, realizing she understood exactly what he was talking about. Not all students understood this concept, and he really wasn't about to explain it to each one either. "I trust you, to keep what I've told you secret Hannah." Remus was a prideful man, he just wasn't all the way open about his partner yet. Those who knew, knew for a reason. He watched as the girl cleaned her face with his hankerchief, watched those tiny drops of liquid sadness stain the white. All rather intense and meaningful movements to him, and yet, to someone passing by, it was nothing. He rethought over what he just said, where did this sudden grace for dialect come from? Inwardly, he grinned remembering an afternoon in the past, James had failed yet another essay, Sirius was tweaking the Map, and he was trying to explain, 'In LITTLE words Remus! Honestly!' to James, why exactly he had failed, and Lily commenting on his 'Wonderful skill of speech'. Had it really begun there? He sighed slowly, then looked to Hannah, his eyes seemed to shine with a hope and truth unknown to normal humans even. "Yes Hannah, I think your father is watching you. I think he's watching you, and smiling because you're still his shining joy, and here you are, doing the right thing, yet again." He grinned this time, a full and kind smile.

Hannah: Hannah gave a quiet nod when asked to keep the information about her professor and Sirius to herself. There was something about the fact that he trusted her with such a meaningful secret that touched her heart. Being trustworthy was something Hannah prided herself in. They sat in a comfortable silence for a few moments. She watched as his countanance changed and a smile of genuine peace spread across his lovely, but scarred face. I am his shining joy. Again, her eyes filled with tears, but these tears were different. These were tears of love, of hope even. With Lupin's last words, her father didn't feel so far away--not like he was lost forever. "Professor...thank you...for everything." She paused, looking at the door, the other students would be coming in soon. "I really didn't want to talk to anyone, but I'm grateful you talked to me." Hannah sighed. She felt comforted for the moment, but she was afraid to move. Afraid of when the pain would come rushing, slamming back into her--and it would. "I'm afraid to get up in the morning and feel all of this again..." She looked up, as her words trailed off. "I should be getting back to the rest of the students...I'm a prefect." She looked down at the hankerchief she had been clutching and looked back up at Lupin. "I'm very glad you're back, Professor." She looked him more directly in the eyes, with those words, than with anything else she had said. He had brought a little bit of hope with him that night. He had loved someone and lost them, and he was still able to touch the lives of the people around him. She gave him a quick hug, not really wanting to let him go. She handed him the hankerchief and said, one last time, "Thank you, Professor..."

Me: Silence at times had it's comforts, and at that moment it was nice. He trusted Hannah, just as much as he had trusted Albus when he questioned him one night. that night he remembered so well, walking into the Headmaster's office, Sirius at his side. Surely they'd been called there due to some Marauding, surely. When Albus asked why they had been found in the same bed on more than one occasion, that was a shocker. Both boys stood, jaws dropped, and Sirius, being who he was stepped out. He simply said. "Because we love each other Headmaster." And, due to the simplicity and honesty of the comment, Albus had nodded, wished them well, and sent them off. Remus still remembered the look on Sirius's face, it was breath taking. He shifted in his seat again, this time standing with Hannah, listening. "You're welcome Miss Abbot, it was the least I could do, having been there and knowing the feelings." He watched as she stilled, then said softly, "Don't be afraid of the morning, instead be happy that you are able to feel these things freely. And yes, you should head back as I should to my own quarters." He watched as her composure changed, changed to complete earnest, as she commented I'm very glad you're back, Professor. Lupin felt touched, and he smiled softly, bowing his head afterwards, then saying softly. "It is good to be back." He hugged her softly, and quickly and then took the hankerchief, putting it away in his cloak. When she turned and said her last words of thanks, Lupin bowed, "Thank you, for listening." He waited to make sure she headed off in the right direction, before turning, and feeling a slight wetness under his own eyes. He looked forward, to an unknown source. I feel you Sirius, I know you're there. He walked onward, taking out another hankerchief and headed toward his quarters.

These students are teaching me more than I them these last few days. I wonder, what will happen when term starts up?

~R. Lupin

Question Answered

2005-01-07T02:11:46Z

Blaise Zabini answered the first question correctly.

The question was 'What is the Waddiwasi charm?'

The answer was:

A charm used to move soft objects at high speeds.

Well done Blaise! Ten points to Slytherin!

Owl to Harry Potter

2005-01-05T19:44:35Z

As you know I'm returning as Professor for the Defense Against the Dark Arts class. I'm sorry I haven't been around lately, as you know the Full Moon draws near, and I've been sick. Thank Merlin it will be over before the Term begins.

I have many things planned this year for you sixth and seventh years. I will be teaching you the important things, and I can guarantee it will be a better year than last.

I know recently you've been going through Hell and confusion. It seems all of us are going through that type of stage. Stay strong and stay true to yourself, and know I'll never think differently of you, no matter what. I expect nothing from you, but for you to be yourself and try your best. Things I know you're capable of.

Keep faith in the good Harry, we're all here for you, as always. See you on Friday.

R. Lupin

Return Owl to Tonks, again.

2005-01-05T19:36:48Z

Perhaps I was crazy, but honestly can you blame me? Sirius was more than my best friend, you know this better than anyone. As long as I'm not the only one feeling that he's near, I'm content. I can't imagine how busy you are, especially these days, after everything has been uncovered. My good wishes are with you, as always.

Please do send Harry a letter, he's just gone through a rather difficult time in his life. The adolescent period of rebellion. I'll be talking to him more often once the Term starts. I've been busy with preparations and scheduling with Dumbledore. We must be careful what we says these days, it's not the same anymore.

As far as books go, I'm alright so far, once I get further into the term with the sixth and seventh years, I might require some of the books on the Unforgivable Curses. They need to know why and how they work, not just how to administer them. These are dark days we live in.

I hope the vases were nothing too expensive. Keep trying, and next time I won't send an owl that pecks.

R. Lupin

Owl to Tonks

2005-01-04T17:41:22Z

Owl sent back to Tonks

Thank you for your letter, it brightened my day to hear from you. Yes, being back at Hogwarts puts peace in my mind and my heart, knowing that these students shall be taught, not only how to perform spells; but to actually fight. I still feel Sirius around me, even in my darkest hours, it's as if he is sitting right next to me, odd isn't it? After Lily and James passed on, I no longer felt them. Do you think I've finally gone crazy? As the Auror, oh wise and clumsy one, I would hope you could tell me. Please take care of yourself, and keep in contact. Perhaps I'll see you at a Quidditch game sometime, or even at the school.

Thank you again Tonks. Keep the chair total down, perhaps we'll get to one someday, won't we?

~R. Lupin

Before Term Begins

2005-01-04T03:31:44Z

I will be available for assistance this Tuesday after three o'clock, on you're new term assignments. Please let me know, by leaving your name and what I'll be helping you with, on this note.

~Prof. Lupin

Always shifting. (PRIVATE)

2005-01-03T01:41:41Z

Things seem well at this point.

Whether or not they will remain well, is an entirely different story.

Losing Sirius, was probably the worst thing that could happen at a time like this, and yet, somehow... I feel he is near. Very near.